The Merry Squire and The Mole

Dedicated to Louie B, who always seems to enjoy ye olde English tales of humor!

There once was a squire who, mounted on his thoroughbred, perchanced upon a mole on the wayside by whence he wast travelling.

"Hiy!" exclaimed this squire as he didst bring his steed to a standstill. "Who art thou? And whenst comest thou?"

The mole answering didst reply, "Noble squire, I ask that thou mightest remove thy mighty feet from before my face for these doth smell as the muck of dirty animals such as even I despise."

"What didst thou speak?" roared the squire, teetering against the reign of his faithful equestrian companion. "Hearest thou my demand, insignificant creature of the ground! Speak up! for I canst not hear thee!"

"Oh hush thy voice," saith the mole to the squire. "Thy voice doth sound to my ears as the babbling brooks, and thy whole body, yay, it reeks of the product whence comes from moulded potatoes."

Thus there wast a muddled silence for lo, this brave mole continued to stand its ground whilst his adversary didst pause, steadying his feet.

Thence asked that squire again, "Why doth thou remain silent mole?" At whence he didst bring his hand sharply to his forehead.

"What a foolish fellow I am!" cried he. "Everyone knows that moles can't speak!" And chuckling to himself, he went on his merry way.

Author's Note

Appreciate any feedback!

MANY THANKS TO http://www.writerscafe.org/JTEVERGREEN FOR HIS HUGE HELP!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Your "olde English" style of writing isn't QUITE the same as one usually expects for the genre . . . kind of like your own original twist on the "sound" that you're going for, which I enjoy very much. Sometimes people go "too heavy" on such a sound, making it a read that's hard to plow thru. But you've done an excellent job of balancing the sound & also maintaining easy readability. It's always a pleasure to read a quick vignette written playfully such as this.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you very much for your kind and encouraging review barleygirl. I'm not sure if it is exactly "olde English" as such... olde Andronican maybe. ;) I'm glad you enjoyed this one. It's one of my favorites, written literally word for word as it came to me. And weirdly enough the ending still makes me laugh. (My weird humor. Ikr!) Anyhow, thanks again for reading and reviewing. I really do appreciate you taking the time. :)

[H.L. Cerveise]

This is a fun light hearted old style story. Loved it. Keep it up.

Well done.

[Stan Lee]

Many thanks for reading and reviewing my story. I'm glad you liked it. It was fun to write too! :)

[Not here]

I love the old-time talk in this. It makes the story so much better. Also the ending is pretty good. Reminds me of a fairy-tale, but told in old language. Love it!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks a lot Dante. The old language was the whole basis for writing this actually. What I mean is that I didn't think up the story and then change it to old English but rather set out to write a story in old English and this is what came to mind. I have a weird sense of humor because the ending still makes me laugh even though I've read it a million times. Glad to hear that you loved it. Thanks again! :)

[Not here]

That's really interesting :)

[LastMonth]

I like stories like that.
Pretty good.

Nothing like a good little cup of denial to take care of your troubles.
A wonderful chap, this mole.

[Stan Lee]

Many thanks LastMonth. :) I'm glad you like this story and this mole. You're right, he is a wonderful chap for sure. (Whether he can actually speak or not.) ;) Appreciate you taking the time to read and review. :)

[Matching Socks]

Haha. Cute story. :)
Made me smile.

[Stan Lee]

:) Thanks Ana. Glad you liked it.

[A.W. Carl]

This piece did exactly what you set out to do when writing it. (I think...) Made me chuckle and kept me entertained for a minute or two. Well Done!

[Stan Lee]

Fantastic :) That's good to hear. Score 1 for a chuckle!! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Incidentally I was just reading your "ghosts" I'll get back to that soon ;)

[charlie]

Hey, this is classic! Really entertaining - a real nice piece of work. Infectiously good humoured (does that make sense: "good humoured"?...)

Well done.

[Stan Lee]

Yay! Glad you think so! :) Yes, good humored does make sense. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my story Charlie!

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Very funy and original. Please read my work as well. Thank you

[Stan Lee]

Thank you.

[Captain Rilen]

This is awesome!!! I enjoyed your choice of words and it brought a smile to my face. One day you'll have to put all of your stories into a book and get it published, they're a pleasure to read.

[Stan Lee]

Yesss!! So glad it made you smile!! :)
Awww, and you're making me blush... so kind! Thank you very much for your words of encouragement Captain R. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it. :)

[Taylor]

What a fun little tale. Reminds me of arguing with my 18-month-old daughter one day when she climbed into the driver's seat and insisted on being allowed to drive home. I argued with her for quite a while. Finally my husband came out and just picked her up and put her in her car seat! You have wrought a little gem -- love the use of the Old English. It makes me wonder about the wondrous places your mind goes. Give us more!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Taylor! Your encouraging and amusing review made my day. :) I'm glad you liked my tale and the olde english.
Hither and yon doth my mind wander. I shall give more upon it's again wandering to a story telling place. :) Thanks again.