The Merry Squire and The Mole

Dedicated to Louie B, who always seems to enjoy ye olde English tales of humor!

There once was a squire who, mounted on his thoroughbred, perchanced upon a mole on the wayside by whence he wast travelling.

"Hiy!" exclaimed this squire as he didst bring his steed to a standstill. "Who art thou? And whenst comest thou?"

The mole answering didst reply, "Noble squire, I ask that thou mightest remove thy mighty feet from before my face for these doth smell as the muck of dirty animals such as even I despise."

"What didst thou speak?" roared the squire, teetering against the reign of his faithful equestrian companion. "Hearest thou my demand, insignificant creature of the ground! Speak up! for I canst not hear thee!"

"Oh hush thy voice," saith the mole to the squire. "Thy voice doth sound to my ears as the babbling brooks, and thy whole body, yay, it reeks of the product whence comes from moulded potatoes."

Thus there wast a muddled silence for lo, this brave mole continued to stand its ground whilst his adversary didst pause, steadying his feet.

Thence asked that squire again, "Why doth thou remain silent mole?" At whence he didst bring his hand sharply to his forehead.

"What a foolish fellow I am!" cried he. "Everyone knows that moles can't speak!" And chuckling to himself, he went on his merry way.

Author's Note

Appreciate any feedback!

MANY THANKS TO http://www.writerscafe.org/JTEVERGREEN FOR HIS HUGE HELP!

Reviews

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

I've just come from a reply I wrote to a review of my work from you I promised a couple reviews I don't think I ever gave them to you so here I am :)

Now as for the review itself
Firstly well done for writing this in old English. I Can read it and speak it but cant seem to write it. I like this its short and simple but Effective.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Matthew :) Glad you liked it

[Dr. Wood ?]

Ah....I said to myself a talking Mole.....THEN you had to hit me with that punchline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Stan Lee]

Haha! Moles can't speak!
(or can they?) Thanks for reading & reviewing.

[Tony Jordan]

It is funny.
A bit Monty Python-esque - left field humour.
lol

Well donest.
;)

[Stan Lee]

Well donest. lol. Thanks Tony :)

[Octavia]

This is adorable and fun. I really like the creativity you put into it! I don't mind the crazy style, it fits the piece. Nice work!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Octavia. I'm glad you liked it. :)

[S. von Glaubitz]

This is adorable! Really well told, succinct, with plenty of humor throughout and a well-executed punchline. You also handle the style and old English language like an expert. It's so often incorrectly used and drives me nuts, but not here. I'm impressed! Good stuff. I'd like to read more of your work.

[Stan Lee]

Oh thanks Glaubitz. I'm mighty glad my style didn't drive you nuts because to be honest, I just made it up as I went along. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and thank you very much for your generous review. I really do appreciate it. :)

[Dante Carlisle]

Haha! I loved this! Definitely brought a chuckle at the end. Great job on the language, it's an interesting foray, and you nailed it.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Dante. Glad I managed to make you chuckle. I appreciate your review. :)
Ps. Is there anything in particular that you want me to review in return? Just send me a read request.

[Dante Carlisle]

Any of them really, I've been adding to the list for quite a while, so feel free to review whatever catches your eye. The book I have listed in here is actually published and available on amazon as both an ebook and paperback. But, I decided this site would be more for stories than full length novels. Heads or Tails is an interesting one, but Waiting was pretty fun to write, as well. I'm not even sure anymore how many stories I have on here!

[Chase Weik]

This is absolutely fantastic! Love the story and the way this reads. Great job with the Elizabethian English! Shakespeare would be proud haha.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Chase! :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it.