SPIDERS

"Spiders." She thought.

"Spiders." She said aloud.

"Spiders." She wrote.

"Spiders, spiders, spiders. What a stupid start to a story." She thought, looking blankly at her note pad.

Leaning back in her creaking office chair, she sharpened her pencil carefully over the bin by her desk. A deep booming grandfather clock chimed midnight from the hallway. As the last echoing stroke faded she leaned back over her pad and started drawing..... a spider.

It was the best drawing she'd ever done. The spider stood on the page, it's furry legs poised. It's beady eyes stared out at her with an expression of greed and excitement.

Then, it jumped at her.

And bit her.

And killed her.

Her spirit departed as a wisp of smoke, curling up toward the ceiling and then twisting through an open window. It floated on icy cold air currents until one dark night it saw an artist hard at work in his studio.

A clock struck midnight as the wisp curled in under the door and around the artist's neck.

"Spiders." he thought.

 

Author's Note

Appreciate ANY Feedback! :)

Reviews

[-inactive now-]

I like how you have this style with some of your stories, where you open with describing one image, then gradually reveal the bigger picture in quick sudden bursts, leading up to, revealing an even that the reader did not expect to see. It makes your work fun to read:) ..I would almost describe it as a literary roller coaster ride :)

[Stan Lee]

Literary roller coaster ride sounds pretty good to me! Thanks for your comments and kind review. Much appreciated Josiah. :)

[Sandr]

I really liked this story and I'm not usually one for short stories! Cool twist at the end!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading Sandr. Glad you like the story and the twist. :)

[Sophie]

Ah I love a nonsense twist! Brilliant

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Sophie. :)

[Raylene]

I'm impressed it started off as a writer just thinking then a murder th
Ben a thought again well done my friend

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Raylene. :)

[Raylene]

Anytime dear

[Usman Muhammad]

Starting was different and interesting and it kept the reader intrigued throughout the story. I guess you build your story around a Punch line.
I really like these type of writings in which I am supposed to find out everything by myself.
I admire your writing. It's difficult to write such compacted story.
Stay blessed and keep writing.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you so much Usman. I appreciate your kind words and I'm very happy to hear that you like my writing. :)

[Steve Clark]

I agree with Golnaz in that prolonging the twist a bit longer. It was little sudden but the second twist was far better.

[Stan Lee]

Many thanks for reading and reviewing Stephen. :)

[Flower]

This is a clever mix between fantasy and plain old fiction; I like it. In my humble opinion, the line "And it killed her" seemed a bit too sudden, especially for a character we had been getting acquainted with as readers. Perhaps describing the stillness of her body or the absence of a pulse would flow a bit better? Nonetheless, this story made for a pleasant late night read :)

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Golnaz. I'm glad you like it. I agree with you about the suddenness of the killing. I guess I was going for a bit of shock factor there. Also didn't want to break up the rhythm of the short action sentences. I do understand what you're saying though. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Sorry for the delayed reply too- have been crazy busy. :)

[Flower]

You're very welcome; keep it up!

[LastMonth]

Smoooooooth.

Nice job man.
At first I was like 'Oh he's just throwing logic out the window'
Then the last line was all.. ''..Oooooh.''

Anyhow, weird reactions aside, well written, I love it.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for your review LastMonth. :) I appreciate you sharing your 'weird reactions' and I'm happy that you liked it. :)

[RBKiernan]

You packed quite a punch in a rather tightly-written story. That's awesome!

[Stan Lee]

Many thanks RBK. :) I appreciate you reading and reviewing. Glad you liked it.

[out]

Wicked cool story! I really enjoyed reading

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Mad Mind. Glad you liked it. :)

[K.Butler]

"Spiders." She thought. "Spiders." She said aloud. "Spiders." She wrote.
I really liked this. Great! it honestly made me laugh

[Stan Lee]

Making someone laugh is the best! Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. :)