GREEN JELLY

GREEN JELLY

 

"He was killed by vanity."

Fran's eyebrows shot up. "Really?!"

Thelma nodded conspiratorially, all four of her wrinkled chins nodding in unison.  

Fran shook her head slowly and smoothed her floral dress over her lap with gnarled hands. "He never struck me as the arrogant type," she mused, as her eyes wandered around the rec hall.

Dressed in a plain grey suit, Thelma's eyes didn't wander. She'd been here long enough to know that, to her left was a large wooden cross and to her right, past the cafeteria, was bright purple sign loudly reminding all who happened to glance up, that they were in the Archvale Home of Rest for the Aged.

She leaned forward with a twinkle in her eye. "There, there," she said, patting her friend on her hand. "Death comes to everyone sooner or later. That's one thing you'll learn being here."

Fran sighed and turned back to Thelma. "We've been friends for many years. I don't suppose you've forgotten how close I was to him back then?"

Thelma snorted. "I'm not that far gone dear."

"Mhhmm," Fran nodded thoughtfully. "I didn't think you'd have forgotten. How long did we work with him again?"

"I think it was six years," Thelma replied.

"We had some good times."

Thelma nodded. "What ended up happening between you two?"

"Bernice is what happened. Right after you and I were made redundant."

"Booby Bernice?"

Fran chuckled. "Yes, booby Bernice. Never seen such a bouncy woman in my life. Bounced all the way to the top of that office. Bounced into his heart too. Oh well, I never said anything. Figured he was happy enough with her. Booby had money, status, bounce... everything a guy wants I guess. So, that was that."

"Still," said Thelma, "I'm surprised you hadn't heard about his death."

"Why's that?"

"Well, you know, dying on a construction site, there were some fairly serious investigations."

"He was killed by vanity on a construction site??!!"

Thelma stopped and stared at her friend. "A vanity," she repeated. "They were putting in the bathrooms on the second floor. Somehow it fell and.... "

The two friends looked at each other in wide eyed surprise.

"I think I need to turn my hearing aid up," Fran managed to splutter.

Thelma tried in vain to disguise a snort of laughter as a cough.

A giggle escaped from Fran.

Next thing the two of them were howling and snorting, rocking back and forward with laughter.

A nurse bustled over. "Great to see you two enjoying yourselves." Her expression said the opposite. "You'd better have a drink of water."

Thelma kept giggling as she drank. Water spilled all down her front.

"The others are having green jelly," said the nurse. "Would you like some?"

Thelma nodded enthusiastically, spilling more water.

****

The two friends sat, lost in thought. The only sound between them was the sound of false teeth masticating on green jelly.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Appreciate ANY feedback! :)

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

I enjoyed this - its well written and the pace is good. I enjoyed the humour although I'm not near enough to the false teeth on green jelly to imagine the sound!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you very much Alan! :) That's very kind and I appreciate your positive feedback. Thrilled that you enjoyed the humor! Thanks again :)

[AliciaB]

Haha - this made me laugh! :) I mean, I guess it's kind of morbid, but it's also really funny. And the description of the nurse is perfect. A fun little snippet of a story. Nicely done!

[Stan Lee]

I'm glad it made you laugh AliciaB. I meant it to be more funny than morbid.
As Thelma said, "Death comes to everyone sooner or later." Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my story! Much appreciated. :)

[AliciaB]

You are most welcome! I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work! :)

[mattavelli]

Fun story, Andronicus!
"He was killed by vanity on a construction site??!!"
Nice turn.
And the ending, "false teeth masticating on green jelly.", thanks for that image. Haha

[Stan Lee]

:) Thanks mattavelli. Glad you liked it. It was fun to write too! Pleased to hear that you enjoyed the ending too. I was a bit worried that people wouldn't like it. :)

[mattavelli]

As Robert commented, "dark humor". Its a great ending. You left me not wanting more. Haha

[Stan Lee]

haha :) glad that you were satisfied!

[Robert Parlange]

Dark humor. A good story about how we can misinterpret what we hear. Or hear what we want to hear.
Very good.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for your comments Robert. Glad you liked it. :)

[Taylor]

This is a delicious piece. I love the characterization of the two women, the misheard cause of death, their giggling at themselves and the repartee about Bouncy. I do think the piece starts off a little awkwardly because some of the descriptions are a little overdone -- "eyebrows shot up." Also "Thelma nodded conspiratorially, all four of her wrinkled chins nodding in unison." I don't think you need "conspiratorially" -- show that and let the reader come to that conclusion. Another good job. You are so talented.

[Stan Lee]

Dear Taylor, Thank you so much for your constructive review. Now that you come to say it, yes, it is a bit OTT... Do you have any suggestion on how to say it differently? I'm so glad that you liked my story. Thank you for reading and & reviewing! :)

[alifeacoustic]

Ha, nice. Just two old friends sharing an involuntary chuckle at a friends demise. Vanity can be a killer :)

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

[Captain Rilen]

You're writing always has so such character, the people come to life as you're reading. The scenes you write are always really good. Good work!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for your kind words Captain Rilen! :) Appreciate you taking the time to read and review.

[Solar]

I liked the humour of the two old women in a rest-home, subversives in its sterile, controlled environment.

The narrative and dialogue work well together.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Solar. Glad you liked the humor. Please feel free to make any suggestions for improvement too! :) Thanks!

[Solar]

Can't think of any improvements - it works well, making the reader take it all in.