GREEN JELLY

GREEN JELLY

 

"He was killed by vanity."

Fran's eyebrows shot up. "Really?!"

Thelma nodded conspiratorially, all four of her wrinkled chins nodding in unison.  

Fran shook her head slowly and smoothed her floral dress over her lap with gnarled hands. "He never struck me as the arrogant type," she mused, as her eyes wandered around the rec hall.

Dressed in a plain grey suit, Thelma's eyes didn't wander. She'd been here long enough to know that, to her left was a large wooden cross and to her right, past the cafeteria, was bright purple sign loudly reminding all who happened to glance up, that they were in the Archvale Home of Rest for the Aged.

She leaned forward with a twinkle in her eye. "There, there," she said, patting her friend on her hand. "Death comes to everyone sooner or later. That's one thing you'll learn being here."

Fran sighed and turned back to Thelma. "We've been friends for many years. I don't suppose you've forgotten how close I was to him back then?"

Thelma snorted. "I'm not that far gone dear."

"Mhhmm," Fran nodded thoughtfully. "I didn't think you'd have forgotten. How long did we work with him again?"

"I think it was six years," Thelma replied.

"We had some good times."

Thelma nodded. "What ended up happening between you two?"

"Bernice is what happened. Right after you and I were made redundant."

"Booby Bernice?"

Fran chuckled. "Yes, booby Bernice. Never seen such a bouncy woman in my life. Bounced all the way to the top of that office. Bounced into his heart too. Oh well, I never said anything. Figured he was happy enough with her. Booby had money, status, bounce... everything a guy wants I guess. So, that was that."

"Still," said Thelma, "I'm surprised you hadn't heard about his death."

"Why's that?"

"Well, you know, dying on a construction site, there were some fairly serious investigations."

"He was killed by vanity on a construction site??!!"

Thelma stopped and stared at her friend. "A vanity," she repeated. "They were putting in the bathrooms on the second floor. Somehow it fell and.... "

The two friends looked at each other in wide eyed surprise.

"I think I need to turn my hearing aid up," Fran managed to splutter.

Thelma tried in vain to disguise a snort of laughter as a cough.

A giggle escaped from Fran.

Next thing the two of them were howling and snorting, rocking back and forward with laughter.

A nurse bustled over. "Great to see you two enjoying yourselves." Her expression said the opposite. "You'd better have a drink of water."

Thelma kept giggling as she drank. Water spilled all down her front.

"The others are having green jelly," said the nurse. "Would you like some?"

Thelma nodded enthusiastically, spilling more water.

****

The two friends sat, lost in thought. The only sound between them was the sound of false teeth masticating on green jelly.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Appreciate ANY feedback! :)

Reviews

[Zoya]

Lolol. Great wordplay. This kind of writing takes skills...you got those in plenty. Wonderfully written!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Zoe! :)

[Zoya]

My pleasure :)

[Jacob Clifford]

This is probably my favorite story of yours I've ever read! And that's saying a lot. It's been five minutes since I read that last line, and I'm still laughing. I love how realistic and human these characters are. I can perfectly picture their facial expressions at the hearing aid moment, and Thelma not being able to drink water due to laughing is hilarious. And Booby Bernice?! I think everyone knows someone just like Booby Bernice. Also, I give you bonus points for using the word "masticating". I was beginning to think I was the only person who knew that word! Seriously, this story is amazing.

[Stan Lee]

Clifford, you're the kindest! Thank you so much for your generous review. :) I'm so glad that you can picture the scene/characters and that it'a making you laugh. Thanks for the bonus points. Glad you like this one Clifford, it's one of my favorites too. :)

[Lorry]

Ahh, so you do know how hard it is to follow a conversation with my Mum then? :)
Love it...Not the jelly,because I refuse to eat anything that still moves when it's on the plate, but the story is awesome :)

[Stan Lee]

Yes, I think you've told me that before. :) I'm glad you liked the story nonetheless. Thanks for reading & reviewing.

[Lorry]

You're welcome :)

[Nin_Com_Soup]

this is quite a story, i absolutely love how you slowly describe the people, but in teh description you keep it interesting! very well written!!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you for your review Nin :) I love your alias. Nin_com_soup. lol. That's clever. I'm glad you liked the story/characters and found it interesting! :)

[.]

Hahaha. This is a delight!

Congrats on this one! Very well written and very humourous! What a killer punch line! I chuckled at that one. Your setting and characters are very realistic and easy to imagine. The story and dialogue flows very well from beginning to end and it reads very fluently. And Booby Bernice!? Haha! A fantastic name for a character! I truly imagined her bouncing around that retirement home!
A great little story! Your best that i have read so far! Well Done.

[Stan Lee]

Doooooooooooodley! Thank you so, so very much! What a kind review. :) I'm happy that you liked it and that it made you chuckle. Booby Bernice seems to be someone most people can relate to as an associate.I imagine she would have lost some of her bounce by the time she ends up in a nursing home though.
It's one of my favorites because I honestly don't know where it came from. I sat down with a coffee one day and wrote it during my lunch hour. Random :)
Thanks for making my day with your kind review!

[Jacob Mahurien]

Have you read, "Hills Like White Elephant," that's what this reminds me of. Good characterization, and tangible story all told with very little exposition.

[Stan Lee]

No, I haven't. But I just googled it (and realise that is high praise) & am about to read it. So thank you very much Jacob. For reading, for kindly reviewing, for leading me to a new story to read. :)

[barleygirl]

Very imaginative, with good dialogue, realistic to the scenario of two old people discussing this topic. I like the way you show us the setting, quickly revealing many integral aspects of your story (such as the age of the characters, etc.) The twist (misunderstanding "vanity") is well done & funny & an original idea.

I am a little torn between these two opposing forces: (1) your depiction of old people is stark & a little funny . . . yet (2) it has a tiny touch of mockery (of old people) overall . . . and I'm not clear on what the green jelly represents. Otherwise, your writing & storytelling is clear & strong.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you very much for your encouraging review barleygirl. I'm very happy that you found it funny. Reality is almost always complex and I was aiming to keep it realistic while highlighting the amusing moments/details that we might miss in everyday life. So I hope that I have reached that... though I realise not everyone shares my odd sense of humor! :) Thanks again barleygirl! Much appreciated. :)

[Raylene]

Elaborate wordplay and great imagery great work

[Stan Lee]

Thanks Raylene. :)

[Shannon]

How did I miss this one? I love the humor and rich language. Enjoyable start to slightly gross finish!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for reading and reviewing S.Mi. Glad you enjoyed it.
I think the finish is slightly gross mainly because it's realistic.
Old age is something we rarely like to think about, much less laugh at even though it's probably going to happen to us all. ;)

[Shannon]

The words you choose are delightfully gross as well!

[K.Butler]

Thelma nodded conspiratorially, all four of her wrinkled chins nodding in unison.
This whole story made me laugh! Great job!

[Stan Lee]

I'm glad you laughed. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'll get to reading yours soon. :)