Disillusion

Magnus screamed. "WHAT THE HELL!!??" he screamed. He clamped his hands over his ears and screamed some more. "WHAT THe hell, WHAT is that thing!!!??"

"Darling?" A gentle voice called from kitchen. "What's the matter darling?"

At his wife's mellow voice Magnus cautiously opened his eyes and started breathing again. "There's a monster in the hallway" he quavered.

"What colour is it dear?"

(Typical wife style huh? He screams about monsters and she just asks about the colour!)

Magnus took another quick peek through his fingers. "It's red and black and blue!"

"Why did you come out of the bedroom darling? I've warned you that there are monsters in the hall."

Something else caught Magnus' eye and he felt a fresh wave of terror welling up from his feet and into his throat. His eyes bulged and he let out another blood curling scream. "THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!"

Magnus' wife put her arm around his shoulder. "There, there dear" She soothed and his scream subsided into ragged gasps. Then she whispered in his ear, "Sorry to disillusion you dear. That's a mirror."

 

Author's Note

Appreciate ANY feedback! :)

Reviews

[PaintedBirdy]

again your stories have made me smile, so thanks for posting them! haha.

suggestion: the first paragraph could be more concise. i feel like it's overemphasizing the screaming to the point of redundancy. i just think it could be worded for better effect. besides for that paragraph i think it reads nicely.

also, just a question, does the name Magnus (latin for great) have any significance in this story? maybe i didn't pick up on it, or you just chose that name at random.

overall i enjoyed this! i particularly like the wife character. good story!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you so much. I'm really glad I could make you smile. Thanks for your helpful suggestion re the first paragraph. I did choose the name specifically, I was going to make more of a point about the character being large but I guess that never made it to paper. Glad you enjoyed it overall. Not my best but...... something is better than nothing right :)

[PaintedBirdy]

not your best? psh, you're being humble. there isn't anything of yours that i've read that i haven't liked/loved. i'm always nervous about giving you suggestions but i want to be helpful (and i was a tutor for 2 years during uni so i'm kinda trained to ALWAYS give at least 1 suggestion). your writing is fantastic! :) i always look forward to reading more!

[Woody]

another nice little gem. thought I'd already reviewed it. *sigh* I'm losing it, that's for sure.
I was expecting a twist and was not disappointed.
two little typos.
called from (the) kitchen
there's a "d" missing in cur(d)ling

[Stan Lee]

Ooops, thanks for that. I'll fix it up today. Thanks for reading and reviewing. If you're losing it, be assured you're not alone. Lol. Let me know if you have any suggestions for improvement too. It feels a bit empty to me at the moment. Anyway, thanks, thanks and thanks again. :)

[Woody]

you're welcome, welcome and welcome again :)
actually, I may have a suggestion or two. tell you later.

[alifeacoustic]

Ha, nicely done. That's why I never look in mirrors. I only ever see real scary in the mirror :)

[Stan Lee]

Lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)

[alifeacoustic]

You're welcome :)