Cheater

18 Words

Eyes widened as she saw her husband across the bar whilst her bum was lovingly caressed from behind.

Author's Note

Can anyone give me suggestions or feedback?
:)

Reviews

[Laura Almeida]

This sounds like the pina colada song.
Good begining tho.
The fact is, even when cheating you still feel cheated.

My suggestion would be to make a short story about a woman that is being caressed like you say.. and her eyes are fixed in the man acrossed the bar... and then a twist of how they live in the same house... something like... and boom hit us with the hard truth that she was observing her husband being completely different of what she knows from him, but also is she is living a secret life.

Alot of promise just in 18 words. I think im a fan of you.

Thanks

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for dropping by. I don't know the pina colada song, perhaps I should check it out. Tbh I've never cheated so idk about that either. Was just an idea which I tried to condense as much as possible.
Thanks.

[H. R. Dwyer]

I like your micro-stories best.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you H.R. I appreciate you taking the time to say so :)

[Russell Little]

Thanks for Your input on my story. This was an excellent micro-story. Do you blog as well?

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Russell. Your positive feedback is very encouraging especially as this was my first micro-story. I don't blog... yet. I have been thinking about it... Thought I might start using the blog on here first... what do you think? Any suggestions on that?
:)

[Viv Wade]

This is brilliant, you paint such a vivid picture. It takes real talent to tell a whole story in just a few words! I can't help wanting to know more though, like who is the bum-caresser? And what does the husband do next? But again, that's the mark of a good story, leaving the reader wanting more!

[Stan Lee]

Thank you soooo much!!!!!!! I am so happy that you liked this.
I'd like to leave those details to your imagination... That's another story. :)
Thanks again for your kind feedback.

[Marie]

No suggestions. I think this is great.

[Stan Lee]

Thank you Marie, I appreciate your generous review! :)

[Stan Lee]

RIP Marie. You will be missed.

[Vernika]

God! This scares me! I mean I just can't bring myself to understand what could possibly go on in the mind of that woman. Sad that women are still not considered anything more than their bodies..!

[Stan Lee]

Thanks for taking the time to read and review. :)