The Cold Walk to Work

Short Story

“Connor said yesterday it was cold enough to kill”.

“I can’t say I entirely disagree”.

“Same here” Laura laughed.

It was one of those mornings when even coats and beanies don’t keep out the cold. The air stings your nostrils and makes your eyes water. Cars drive by and exhaust comes out in clouds like a kids cartoon.

“I’m sure the cold would have been awful for him,” Laura snorted, “driving along in his nicely heated car to work. Should try walking” she trudged on in silence before continuing, “Yeah I can think of a few things to kill”.

“Hmmm… no I don’t think it’s that cold”.

She smiled, “You’re right… I don’t think I’d get away with it”.

“At least the sun is shining”.

That comment made her laugh out loud. “Always the optimist! It’s negative 2 degrees, walking to work �" a job that I hate and you say at least the sun is shining. Can you think of any other optimistic things to say?”

There was no reply. Laura looked up prompting a response but there was none.

“There’s one thing about this weather…” she trailed off.

“What?”

“Well, when the cold makes clouds come out your mouth like this it’s kinda hard to disguise the fact that I’m talking to myself”.

 

Reviews

[Jacob Clifford]

I found your first Laura story!

I was confused by the ending, because I could have sworn the other "person's" name was used, but then I went back, and nope, just Laura. Once I got realized . . . The exchange between the "two" was very enjoyable and lifelike, and the twist is done very well.

[Stan Lee]

Hey Clifford! :) Thanks for dropping by to read and review. Actually, this the second one you've commented on. The first was 'understanding' ;). This needs a lot of editing but I guess I never got around to it. Might make it less confusing. Anyway, I'm glad you found it enjoyable and liked the twist once it made sense! Thanks again Clifford. I really appreciate your comments. :)

[Jacob Clifford]

I have a ton of stories that need to be edited, but I never have the ambition to actually fix them. Generally, I like to take what I learned from the old stories and put my energy toward making new works.

[Stan Lee]

Agree. Onward and upward I say! Let's have some new Clifford stories! :)

[Jacob Clifford]

Haha, I'll see what I can do.

[PaintedBirdy]

this story in interesting because it shows pretty well the internal monologue of people. sorta like "oh this observation, yeah and this observation, maybe i should do this, or maybe not," and back-and-forth thoughts like that. it's pretty funny, and it's funny how it ends too. people are so quirky sometimes. good story, Andronicus :)

[Stan Lee]

My stories have a lot of internal monologue I think. I'm glad you think it's funny. So did the main character. Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. :)

[Shannon]

Your writing of Laura has gotten both more subtle and tighter since this one. Excellent twist, for certain.

[Stan Lee]

Thanks S.Mi. I'm glad you liked the twist. Agreed some of my writes don't flow as well as others but I figure as long as I am writing.. it can't hurt.... :)

[Shannon]

It is by no means poorly done. I can see a progress, if they were viewed in order!

[alifeacoustic]

ha, love it. And yes, it is. I stay in cold a*s central, so take it from me it's true. Minus two is a mild autumn day here. But when i's minus two, most people talk to themselves, even if it is just to complain about the weather. Nice write my friend. Liked the fun end.

[Stan Lee]

lol. I know it's true. So glad you could relate to my story in some way and liked it. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing.

[alifeacoustic]

You're very welcome.

[Larry-Michael]

I took this in many ways. Initially when I read I wanted to laugh at the end but was unsure if it was meant to be funny. I couldn't tell if there were 2 characters communicating so I re-read the story. And when I did... the ending made me think she had been talking to herself the WHOLE time which scared me forreal! Someone give her a ride!

[Stan Lee]

lol.. yah it happens...
My story Understanding probably explains it a bit better...