ONE

My very first chapter of my very first draft... how special...

ONE

 

 

I used to think scars were cool, until I started getting them.

I have hundreds. Some have faded; some have refused to.

But the most visible is a slash across my eye, and I remember the pain every time I look in a mirror...

 

Luke is one of my best friends, and has been for pretty much my entire life. He’s really something else. You can have a conversation with him about anything at all, and it’ll be comfortable and interesting and meaningful. This is because he lives in a world separate from ours. Different, but not better.

 

I met Luke at the corner of Darcy and Surmelin. I wore a silky dark blue dress with a plunging neckline; he, a tuxedo and a crooked smile.

“You look really nice,” he said.

Luke had pretty lips, I noticed. They looked kind of soft.

We set off, walking close together; the night was cold.

“So how’s Miranda?” I asked, and as soon as the words had popped out of my mouth, I regretted them.

Miranda was his girlfriend. Their relationship, against all odds, had survived for almost three months. Luke’s girlfriends never stayed his girlfriends for long.

This was the precise reason that nothing would ever happen between the two of us, despite the fact that, nearly every day, someone suggested it should. We learned to laugh it off, and we remained in unspoken agreement that our friendship was too important for us to mess it up like that, especially right now.

The moment I’d said Miranda’s name, the smile had slipped off his face and hit the pavement, shattering into a million pieces.

“We broke up.”

“What? When?”

“Like three hours ago.”

“Oh.”

I didn’t say I was sorry, because it would have been a lie. I’d never much liked Miranda. Luke was better off without her.

“Why’d you break up?” I queried.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and stared pensively at the darkened sky.

“I dunno. I guess we just wanted different things. We didn’t have that much in common to begin with, did we?”

          “No,” I said seriously.

          I knew that, by tomorrow, Luke would be over it. Breakups meant nothing to him anymore. He’d been hurt so many times he was invulnerable.

But for now, he needed time to think, so I left him alone, not speaking until we reached our destination.

Within ten minutes, we were standing in the entryway of an unremarkable brick building on the east side of Paris. I stretched out a pallid hand, rendered colorless in the October chill, and rapped a few times on the door. A small square at the top slid open, revealing a solitary blue-grey eye.

There was the sound of many locks being pulled back, and then the door swung open.  

          I nodded at the boy who’d opened it, who was also wearing a tux. “Spence,” I acknowledged.

          But Spencer didn’t even look at me. He was surveying Luke.

          “Who invited you?”

          “Me,” I said firmly.

          He paused, then asked, “Why?”

          “Spencer!” I snapped, brushing past him. Luke followed me, his hands in his pockets, looking unbothered.

          The room was small, candlelit, and full of people. Most everyone was dressed in a cloak with the hood pulled up over their head. I didn’t bother to conceal my face. I had nothing to hide.

          Ariel glided forward. Her dark hair was twisted into a sleek, elegant knot; the light made her flawless skin glow.

          “I hereby call to order this meeting of the Society of the Harvest Moon to order.”    

 

I can’t say much about the events that followed. Then I would have to be killed.

 

Nearing midnight, the meeting was breaking up. Ariel was about to dismiss everybody when someone stood up at the back of the room. I didn’t have to look to know it was Spencer.

          “There remains the problem of the Hazelwoods,” he said clearly.

          Luke didn’t say anything, but I saw his fists clench instinctively underneath the table. Half the people in the room had twisted around in their seats to stare at him.

          In a frosty tone, he declared, “My parents have chosen their side, and I’ve chosen mine.”

          Most everyone turned away quickly, whether for embarrassment or lack of interest. A few pairs of eyes remained focused on Luke, however. I shot them expressions of deep disgust.

          Following a brief but awkward silence, Ariel composedly said, “We’ll discuss it at the next meeting.”

          Luke stood and left the room with a cold sort of grace, and I swept dispassionately after him.

          I’d never been angrier at Spencer, and yet I still couldn’t hate him. He had reasons for constantly antagonizing Luke, deep emotional scars that still stung. The Hazelwood family was a threat to everyone in the Society, but with Spencer, it was more than personal. Luke’s parents had killed his when he was just a couple years old. I supposed it had been a slap in the face for me to include Luke in our meeting, but I trusted him in a way that Spencer would never be able to understand.

          A gentle haze of rain had begun cascading from the sky. Luke’s stride was brisk. I didn’t try and catch up with him; he would want to be alone.

          “Alice -”

          A hand touched my shoulder, and I whirled around forcefully, throwing it off.

          “Don’t touch me, Spencer. You went too far this time.”

“I went too far? You invited a Hazelwood to �"”

“He’s not a �"”

“Yes he is!”

I made no attempt to calm down. “Luke would never betray us, no matter who his parents are!”

Spencer was shouting now. “Why, because you love him?”

I raised my voice, too. “What do you know about love; you’ve never loved anyone in your LIFE!”

There was a heated pause.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

We both took a second to cool off.

          “Look, Spence,” I said evenly, “Luke’s parents would literally murder him if they knew he was here. Yours may not have been around for long, but you’re lucky they cared about you while they were.”

          I left him there with an expression of deep sorrow on his face.

          Luke was leaning against a streetlamp a block away, and I could tell from the way his hand kept twitching that he wanted a cigarette.

          “Luke?” I said tentatively.

          His eyes were inviting enough for me to go on.

          “You know Spencer has problems.”

          He turned his head, just a bit. “Yeah.”

          “I’m not making excuses for him,” I said hastily, “but…”

          “I know.”

          The silence smothered us for a second.

          “Luke, you’re nothing like your parents,” I said suddenly.

          He looked at me, really looked at me, for the first time. He saw that my hair was soaked and my eyeliner was smudged.

          Luke tipped his head back and stared at the rain falling from the sky.

          He laughed. It was genuine. “What are we doing?”

          He called a cab; we started home. I held his hand, and I didn’t even think about it.

Author's Note

i adore criticism.
but i am mainly posting chapter one so you can crit chapter 2... because i really hate it, and no one i know will say anything useful.
get to work now. fwahaha, just kidding.

Reviews

[Alicka]

I have to agree with the rest of them, this is an amazing first chapter. I didn't see any misspelled words or grammar error. Here is an suggestion you might want to write a prologue, just to give some of your readers a little info on some of the main characters.
Ex.. The Hazelwood family was a threat to everyone in the Society, but with Spencer, it was more than personal. Luke’s parents had killed his when he was just a couple years old.
This passage in your chapter caught me off guard, why are they a threat? Maybe a little history on Luke's family would let the reader understand better why they are a threat. This is just an suggestion.
I really can't wait for the next chapter in your book. Keep up the good work!

[Arsenic Nemesis]

Aw, this is really cool, I like it a lot! The characters are great and your layout of your writing was fantastic. Now, I couldn't really SEE any spelling or grammar errors, but that's my tired eyes XDD Seriously, though, awesome work, loved it~

[Escape My Fate]

amazing. Great display of emotions. :)

[Dizzy]

Well this kept me interested which is amazing, because normally books I read are different. This first chapter made me want to read the next one. And if chapter two is as bad as you think I can't wait to be a critic. But so far there is nothing bad about chapter. Can't wait for the next one...

Dizzy @_@