![]() ImpasseA Story by John![]() Thoughts of the day.![]() I had reached an impasse in my
life. Two choices laid ahead of me. Of
course, on one hand laid the path of self-salvation. I had failed at everything else in my life,
and I only wanted to be successful at something. I wanted to make my parents proud for more
than a few months at a time. I also
wanted to tell them “F**k you,” and be on my merry way. Of course, there was only one course of
action to be had: I would continue my
crusade against The Man, exposing to the world the evils I and many other of
the American Youth had been made a part of.
I would continue my course of activism, fighting the Good Fight against
what I had seen as a corrupt, harsh, greedy, totally evil world. I had begun to suspect there was something
wrong with me, though. Something that I
will explain after I explain this next choice I had before me: I could continue along the path of justice,
trying (most likely futilely) to enlighten my Fellow Man to the best of my
ability, doing what I thought to be right.
If I had been raised by holy, just parents, then I was right in my
belief that this world was going to burn if we didn’t change the way we
lived. If my parents were wrong, and I
was only a misguided child in the throes of young adulthood, then I was wrong
in trying to change the world. I wanted
to believe I was right, I wanted to believe that my parents were right, but I
had no way of knowing. I wanted to
expose all of the misinformation, coercion, corruption, and wrongdoing that I
had witnessed. But there were two risks
I foresaw in attempting to do so: 1) I could be wrong, and to fight a fight
such as this and be wrong was self-damnation.
2) I could waste my life fighting this cause to no avail, wasting a life
that could’ve been spent making people in my own life happy, and myself
happy. My second choice was to leave this
life behind me and attempt to be happy.
No matter what it took, just make myself happy. Now, what I had expected to be wrong
with this whole situation was this: That
I really wasn’t right in the head. That
there was something wrong with me upstairs.
There was fear of being a monster.
Some kind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde aberration. Of course, I had tried doctors, but when the
other patients and participants in group therapy agreed unanimously with what
you had been thinking, it was difficult to listen to them. It was difficult to listen to the
headshrinkers when the case workers who acted as liaisons between you and the
judicial system that would decide your fate agreed with you instead of their
bosses, it was time to wonder just how insane you are. Would the artists and the poets and the
musicians and romantics of my world rise up in unanimous revolt and strike down
the oppressive opposition with peaceful, non-violent revolution? Not likely.
Was I okay with that? I meditated
on the subject. Could I commit to
complete and utter defeat? Could I allow
myself to live in a world that set aside truth and honor and goodness for
hypocrisy and greed? That was the
question. That is the question. And even
more important than that question was this one:
Can you? © 2013 JohnReviews
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4 Reviews Added on March 31, 2013 Last Updated on March 31, 2013 |