The Room

Cracking, snapping,

all the while,

serrated edges

rape the tile,

clicking, splitting,

in my mind,

backward thinking

all the time.

Hidey hidey,

why so shy?

Come on in and

hear my lies,

I'm the one who

shouldn't cry,

backtrack, snap,

and try, try, try.

Let the wounds

all rot and fester,

infect and mold

the new court jester,

Spin and turn

and look again,

Hidey- Ho,

this is the end.

Failed to impress,

oh dreary friend,

let me try to

clean up again.

Up and at them,

bright and early,

Don't mind the room

all swirly twirly,

See it swivel,

turn and peel,

fear the nipping

at your heel,

Faster, faster,

'round we go,

you and I,

until we fall.

Crashing, smashing,

gallop, circle,

make the linoleum

alive and fertile.

Stretching, straining,

feel the ache,

throbbing, sobbing,

hope to wake,

Moaning, groaning,

in for a treat,

burning, turning,

broken meat.

Up and down

and 'round we go,

there's no way

to stop the boat,

Laughing, rafting

through the water,

drowning, pounding

as you falter,

fighting, lighting,

one last smoke,

praying to God

that you don't choke,

screaming, reeling,

in the corner,

feel it tipping,

overboarder,

rocking, rocking,

back and forth,

its over now,

you found the shore,

rocking, rocking,

back and forth,

its over now,

but you want more.

Reviews

[The Witness]

This is very good. It's like a poem the Joker would write. Chaos but ordered chaos. Bravo.

God Bless!

[Holly Mason]

interesting piece it takes me to sand beneath a dirty dock...thanks for sharing

[K.]

This is wonderfully written.
I love the rhythm, and it has a well put together sense of inner chaos.
nicely done.

[John]

I was trying to make a "order from the chaos" type description, but was struggling. Glad it got through.

[Velida]

Haha, to be honest, I added you to friends only because of that handsome avatar picture, but now I see something really , really interesting. This is perfectly written poem. It has everything: a tension, strong emotions, a great rhyming scheme... Great!
Do you always write poems with ryhme?

[John]

No, but I was hoping to get across a scene of lunacy and for me that always seemed to tend toward the "obsessive-compulsive" side of mental illness. Glad you liked it.

[Kelsey]

This is different from what I've read from you so far, as well as different from anything I've read on here before, and I really love that about it. The ending is great, I love the repetition. Very nicely done. x