Passion Parting

When I love you means goodbye.

Afraid of falling in love?

That wasn't it,

she was afraid of hitting the ground again.

Scared of the way I remained quiet

when she was silent.

Terrified of what it all meant.

Sadly that same silence that brought us together

stretches like a sea we'll never cross.

Sometimes I love her,

miss her,

and other times I don't;

it isn't constant and it fluctuates.

My sky stayed dark for a while after I had to leave,

and your smile still shined the same way.

Like you were hiding something.

When I came back for that one night,

I hoped for all the world you would make me yours again.

You said I love you,

and only now do I realize that it was goodbye.

Afraid of falling in love... no.

It wasn't the distance,

it wasn't the music,

it wasn't anything other than the goodbye.

No matter what I did,

I could only give her a goodbye she didn't want to hear.

I'm just not where she needs me,

just not good enough yet,

and more importantly,

I'm just a "Just Not" kind of person.

I only hope you remember me.

I've memorized your eyes,

your breath,

your smile and all the little things

just well enough...

that you can leave and I won't forget.

Won't forget how at one point,

we forgot what hurt felt like.

That at one point,

we rewrote history with the curve of our lips;

and our names bled from our mouths

like it was the only one they had ever known.

I love you.