Park

A simple day spent at the local park reveals just how fragile our deepest desires and most personal promises can be.

Park

On the way to the park he said, “I’ve got something to tell you but I’m not sure if I should tell it as a joke or as a story.” I said, “Fine, well, think about it and when you’re ready just tell me, but don’t rush it ok?” We turned into the supermarket and I turned to his girlfriend and said “What do you want? A beer? An ice cream? My treat.” She laughed and then we jokingly argued about who should pay for what and after a few minutes we all left with beers and ice cream and some badminton rackets. “It’s probably going to be a big disappointment now, an anti-climax,” he said, opening his beer and catching in his mouth the froth that had suddenly jumped out, “but I’ll tell you later anyway, when we have a minute.” I nodded, smiled, and then I walked ahead and slapped my girlfriend on the bottom. “Ow!” She smiled back and gave me a little laugh and then we arrived at the park.

The sun was bright and full and the park was full of people wearing bright clothes walking small dogs or drinking drinks. The smell of a barbecue hung in the air but we couldn’t make out where it was from. “We should have a barbecue,” said my girlfriend, “that would be really nice.” We all agreed but we didn’t say anything else about it; that was it for our barbecue. Some teenagers who were lying near us began to shout something in unserious anger. “I wonder what’s that about?” said my friend. “Who knows?” I replied, opening my beer and taking a long take. “I’m glad I’m not a teenager anymore,” said my girlfriend, “I wouldn’t want to go through that again, no way.” And we all agreed again.

It was a Saturday. We had tried to organize this - a few drinks in the park and maybe a meal later - for a long time, me and my girlfriend and my friend and his, but things always came up: someone was ill, someone had to work, someone had another appointment or the weather was bad. This week, however, after I’d finally got the promotion I’d been waiting for (waiting for years, it seemed), we finally agreed to do it, and if the weather was bad we’d just go to a bar or catch a movie or have dinner at someone’s house. But the weather was fine and when I woke up in the morning I was really excited and I told my girlfriend “I’m really excited. This is going to be a cool day, really, things are going to work out for us, not just today, but the future as well, the raise, maybe we can get another place soon, if I save up, and then we can start being adults.” I was joking, we were all in our thirties, but I did feel good and so did she, so we had sex and after, when I was lying with her up in my arms I felt really good, felt whole, and the world and all its futures didn’t seem so bad. So random. We skipped lunch and then we met my friend and his girlfriend and I went and bought everyone beer and ice cream and rackets. “You shouldn’t buy all this, it’s your celebration, I’ll get it.” said my friend. “No,” I said, “Let me do it, I want to.” And he said, “Ok”, and then we went to the park.

While the girls played badminton, giving out these exaggerated yelps after each shot, my friend gave me the drugs. “They’re good,” he says, “real cruisey, not too savage, y’know, not too sudden.” “Cool,” I said, “I’m meeting my mate later, about eight, he should be happy with them. Thanks for doing that for me, means a lot.” “Nothing,” he said, shaking his head, “Happy to help.” And we clinked our cans and smiled and it all felt good. I turned and looked at the girls. My friend’s girlfriend was bending over to pick up the shuttlecock and I saw the red lace of her panties. I turned back and looked at my friend but he was looking away into the park. A minute later he said, “Yeah, they should be good, I’m giving all that a break though, need to sort my head out a bit.” “Me too,” I said, “Got a lot of work to do soon, can’t do it all scattered. Just beers for me for a bit.” “And maybe some badminton?” He said and we laughed and then we stood up and went over to our girls and took the rackets and played for a bit but the wind was up and it was difficult to play, the shuttlecock kept moving away, moving with the wind and never coming down straight.

We went and sat down and I said, “Would anyone like a beer, I’m done, what would anyone else like?” And we all agreed we should have another beer and then we all volunteered to go to the supermarket but then I said, “If we all go, we’ll lose our place.” It was a nice place too, on top of the hill, with a view of all the trees and the sun and the people. But we couldn’t decide who should go so we all went and on the way we put our rubbish away and my friend said, “Maybe I should just say it, y’know, the joke, or story, just say it?” “No,” I said, “We’ve been waiting might as well keep waiting.” “Ok,” He said and we walked back to the supermarket with our girls in front chatting about something I couldn’t quite hear and I looked at my girl’s bottom and then she turned round and blew a smile at me.

“I need the toilet.” said my friend’s girlfriend. “Me too.” said mine. “There’s no toilet here, why don’t you go to that McDonald’s?” I said. “Ok, wait here, and don’t buy the drinks, it’s our turn.” They said then laughed and walked away. We sat on a bench outside the supermarket and my friend said “Last night man, pulled this real nice chick from that bar below my house.” “Was she nice?” I asked “Yeah, good seven out of ten, nice tits.” “F**k her?” “Yeah.” We were whispering now. “Good? Did you wear a hat?” “Yeah, course.” “Which one, hat or f**k?” “Both!” and we laughed. “Is that what you were going to tell me about, the joke?” “No, no, no. That’s different.” “Alright. So you going to see her again?” “Don’t know, might have to, do you know what I mean?” “Yeah, well, if she’s nice.” “How’s things with you and your lady?” He asked “Good thanks. Great, I mean, real good. I mean, if there was a room I could just go in and f**k different girls, nice ones, and that was it, there was no baggage, no date, no nothing, I’d do it, but I don’t need that hassle, yeah, and I don’t want to f**k things up.” “Me too.” And then the girls came back, all fresh with a little drunk skip in their steps and we went into the supermarket.

When we got back to the park the teenagers who were shouting before had taken our place. I wanted to say something but my girlfriend just looked at me and we decided just to find another place. We sat down on some benches that looked across the park and opened our beers. The smell of the barbeque was still strong and I was beginning to get hungry. We started talking about what we should eat that night: I wanted something spicy but my girlfriend wanted something simple. “I’m a bit drunk. If I have something spicy I don’t think my stomach could take it.” “How about that Korean restaurant?” My friend said. “That’s spicy!” His girlfriend said and laughed and slapped his leg. I looked at her and caught her eye. She was a real nice girl, real pretty, and sometimes I felt sad for her but she was happy. They’re going to get married, I think. They’ve talked about it and I think they’ll do it. They’d be great together, you can just see it, a real good man and wife. That’s why my friend's playing around a bit, I think, getting those last one nights out of his system, one last touch of different flesh so he can be faithful to her when they’re married. That’s what he says, anyway. I’m not ready for marriage but I don’t need any more one nights. I don’t think I could get any better than my girlfriend, anyway. Half of me doesn’t want them to get married because it will put a bit more pressure on me. But the other half wants that pressure. Maybe I should think about it more. I want to marry a woman I’ve never lied to. The conversation moved away and we talked about some friends of ours who have just broken up. “They’ll get back together.” I say. “They should,” says my girlfriend, “they really should.” And we all agreed and the day began to fold.

“I was watching this thing on the Discovery channel last night,” says my friend, “about Russia, Moscow I think, that when the summer comes they find all these drunk guys who had got really drunk and just fallen asleep and then frozen, just frozen over, and they defrost in the summer I guess and all these dead drunk guys just appear out of the snow and ice.” “Wow,” my girlfriend says, “that’s terrible, I mean, what a way to go, that’s terrible, there’s just no pride there, none.” And then my friend’s girlfriend says to me “You’ve been to Russia haven’t you?” “Yeah,” I say, “Yeah, but I didn’t see anything like that.” “You didn’t drink enough then!” jokes my friend and we all laugh and talk about where we want to go in the future, what countries or cities, what sights or museums we want to see. A few minutes later my friend’s girlfriend says, “I’m finished, anyone else need a drink?” And we all say yes and we go back to the supermarket.

A couple of beers later we still hadn’t eaten and I’m starving. My friend says, “Can I have a word?” “Sure,” I say and we pick up all the rubbish and put it in a plastic bag and take it to the bin. “You know what I said before?” He says. “Yeah, about the joke?” “What?” “The joke? You weren’t sure how to tell it.” “What? Oh no. I was thinking, y’know, about the pills?” “Yeah?” “Well, you could always tell your mate that you couldn’t get any.” “Yeah.” But I it wasn’t a good yeah. “I don’t know, it’s just a thought.” He says looking down at the ground. “But with the girls, mine doesn’t know about that stuff.” I said. “All right,” he surrendered, “Stupid idea anyway. It was just a thought. I’m on a break anyway.” “Me too.” I said. We walked back to the girls and we were both silent and sad as if we’d hurt each other. “What’s wrong?” My girlfriend said. She can read me like a children’s book. “Nothing. Just hungry. And a little tired.” I said and looked at her and then smiled, remembering how nice she was, how good, how safe. “Well, let’s eat!” says my friend’s girlfriend and jumps up. “Yeah!” said my friend, as if he just had a great idea. “Well, where?” I said and we all sat down. “How about Italian?” My girlfriend said. “Do you know any good Italians?” I said. “Not near here, just the two near where you live.” “Ok.” We all thought. The first silence of the day came in. I guess we were all tired by then, and drunk, and we’d all had a good day so it didn’t matter. Then my phone rang. It was my mate. He said he’d meet me at the nearest station in thirty minutes. I told them I had to meet my mate in thirty minutes at the station so why don’t we walk that way and look for a restaurant. “Good idea!” said my friend’s girlfriend. “Who are you meeting?” asked mine. “A mate. From work. It will just take a sec. He’s got a disk for me.” “Can’t you see him on Monday, Jesus, it’s Saturday, I know you’ve got promoted, that’s great, but…” she didn’t finish. “We’re going that way, anyway. It will take one minute.” I looked at her. She wasn’t angry, just a little drunk. I smiled at her and she smiled back. We stood up to go and I held her hand. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to have to work all the time, you work so hard anyway, I don’t want you to forget about me, I don’t want to be second.” I said “Never.” And pushed a kiss into the top of her head. In her ear I whispered, “I love you.” and felt tears build behind my eyes.

I left them near the station and met my mate and told him what my friend had said, “They’re good, real cruisey, not too savage, y’know, not too sudden.” And he said, “Thanks for doing that for me, means a lot.” “Nothing,” I said, “Happy to help.” And we shook hands. I walked away with a drunk skip in my step and jumped up to my girlfriend and gave her a big kiss on her lips. “Ahh!” she screamed and smiled, “What’s that for?!” “Nothing,” I said, “because I love you.” We laughed, all of us. I had this big smile on my face and it seemed to spread because we all started laughing and smiling. “This is a real good day,” my friend said, “Real good, we should have done this ages ago.” And he gave me a hug and I hugged him back. We were outside the supermarket and we must have looked quite strange, two men hugging and laughing. “We should do this again.” I said and went up to his girlfriend and gave her a kiss on her head and said, “You look beautiful today, always, thanks for coming out, really.” And she gave me a hug. I guess we were all really happy, happy to be together, happy for the day. I felt good, things were working out. I went over to my girlfriend and kissed her again. “What do you want to do, babe?” “I really don’t know.” She said and we all laughed as if it was the funniest thing we’d heard all day. “How about we go and get another beer, y’know, a deciding beer and then we eat.” My friend said. “Ok,” I said, “But I’m buying, it’s my turn.” And then we went into the supermarket and argued about who should pay.

When we got to the checkouts my girlfriend said, “Y’know, I could just go for a sandwich, just a sandwich, I’m not really hungry, but I need to eat.” We agreed. So we all went back to the fridge section and chose sandwiches. When we left the supermarket it was dark and beginning to get cold. My friend said to me, “It would have been nice to do those pills, y’know, as a celebration.” “Of my job? Yeah, but too late now.” “Yeah, I know. Still.” We got back to the park but some homeless guy was lying across our benches. Of course they weren’t our benches but I felt a little angry and disappointed. “Poor guy.” said my girlfriend. “Maybe we should give him our sandwiches?” said my friend’s girlfriend. “Yeah.” I said. “But that means we have to go back to the supermarket.” said my friend. “I’m really hungry,” said his girlfriend, “I want to help him but is a sandwich going to save him?” We didn’t say anything. A minute later she opened her sandwich and had a big bite. “I’m not going to let him make me feel bad about this,” she suddenly said, “Its not my fault I can buy a sandwich and he can’t.” We agreed but she was suddenly really upset, as if it was her fault. “C’mon,” I said and then knelt down on the path and took her hand and gave it this big romantic kiss like in those old movies. She laughed and we all laughed. “C’mon, where did our good day go? Let’s find a new bench and sit down, it’s all ok.” And then I took her arm in mine and laughed and saw my friend and my girlfriend do the same, go arm in arm, and we walked away from the homeless man, eating our sandwiches.

We sat down on the side of a hill near a lamppost. It was pretty late now, and dark, and we were all a bit tired from the sun and the drink. My friend went off to piss in the trees. The girls talked about what we’d do next time, that we’d have a barbeque and what foods were best and how long they took and what sauces were best with what and other things I know nothing about. I thought about the joke my friend still hadn’t told me about. When he comes back I must remember to ask him, I thought. I looked at my girlfriend. She had her head away from me so I could see her profile: she looked beautiful, the way the light and the dark played on her skin, the smile in her eyes, the way she listened. For some reason, maybe it was the beer or that I was tired, but for a second I looked at her as if she were a statue, as if she were carved or sculptured, and I was only looking at her surface and there was nothing else. Like I was appreciating some work of art in a museum or something. My friend returned and those thoughts flew away.

We were all sitting and silent and I guess we were all thinking about going home. The park was making all these night noises and only the tops of the trees could be seen: the individual trunks and bushes were all lost together in the dark. I wasn’t full from the sandwich but I wasn’t hungry. Maybe we’d go for dinner next time. It would be something to look forward to. I laid my head down on my girlfriend’s thigh and closed my eyes and thought about next week and the week before and today but I couldn’t concentrate: there was something stopping me thinking straight, some feeling I couldn’t understand. Suddenly my friend’s girlfriend jumped up and yelped, “Insects, bugs, everywhere!” and we all jumped up. In the lamp’s light we could see all these insects above us, hundreds of them, all dancing and circling like they were tied to us by invisible string and were trying to break free. We tried hitting them, waving at them, trying to touch them but they kept moving away, moving with the wind and never coming down straight.

© 2013 Andrew James Talbot

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Noehm Strawhair

Andrew James I love all of your writing so far, and that is why as feedback I would say: At first I thought it might be part of your writing style but maybe more of commas and less "and"s will make reading much more easier, as well as more scenery describing, but besides that I really liked it! (btw, if you want more reviews of your work you should review a lot other work and make a lot of friends just like you did with me! ps: I'd like more people to read your stories and that is why I am telling you this :))