10-27-08 11:33-11:50

The beginning of my writting

its time to speak out from this hiding spot i have found myself in. where has life gone. what did i once want to accomplish...well the truth is i never knew what i wanted in the first place...i just knew i wanted it. after almost 23 years of this s**t i find myself in an all to familiar place that i used to wish would go away. all though i do admit im getting good practice at keeping this moment away. however i find myself in complete utter un reality. a place that is a total dream for me. if im a product of my own imagination, why do i imagine this. pursuit of intelligence is very important to me. not the type of intelligence you can find in a school book but rather the type that allows you to write the school books. i dont want to walk down the beaten path. i dont want to spend my days being forgotten. i grow older every day and i still have little to say. ive gone from knowing who i am to wondering what just happened and it appears i have woken up from the past couple of years to find myself an engineer. what does this mean im not really sure. why did i do it in the first place. i told myself never a lifer at the county. i lay here wide awake unable to sleep. i wonder if its the pot or is just my uncertainty in what im doing. i have gone no where in the world. though i have big plans to go all over. i know where im at i should ride this out and reap the benifits that could be a very vauleable thing in todays age. why did i get screwed into these times. why not the 70s or even the 50's grow up with miles davis. i play music. what the f**k am i thinking...music is my life.. its what i think its what i breath but everything right now is unexciting to me. its all been played out and i need to now just figure out what will excite me. i need to live like the legends of my age and that is nothing more than a simple life and have no boundaries of a simple life. i must play the life im living. i must play myself more. what does andrew sound like. what does andrew hear, feel, understand, all of it. there are no barriers or embarassments. my life is no secrete. i have nothing to hide to anybody. i must place myself in the most uncomfortable situations so that i might feel what its like to be totally naked. what do i have to fear in my sound if i can handle any fear i have. i must chase women till i find the right one that makes my world click. shure ive been there a couple of times but that obviously wasnt a mutual agreement. i have a lot to learn out of life. i have a lot to look into when it comes to the mind. music will show me what i need to know. it will be my religion and save me. or it wont. we will just have to see...i just need to know how to feel free. i want love and the ability to express everything i have into my sound. i will work on that. drugs are a great enhancement but not in abuse and thats where im at. this is a call to yourself for help. get me out of this depression. its time to get my life up and straight again. break down some walls and play some s**t that is going to change it all.

Author's Note

Iam not a writter rather a musician so let me do my thing