ghost and sprits

Once upon a time, Their was a little boy named Ryan Jackson. His dad Rob Jackson died in the army when he was a baby boy. So it was just him and his mom (Farrah Jackson). His mom passed away on his 10th birthday. So he lived with his Aunty Raven & Uncle Joe. He tells them he keeps on seeing something at night, he said that it looks exactly like his dad. He turned 11 and he heard voices like some sort of singing and heard screaming from the basement. Then when he got to the basement their was nothing their. Then when he ran upstairs when he heard his aunty screaming. By the time he got their, his aunty was dead. So he was balling his eyes out and called the police. When the police got to the house, he was curled up in a corner in his aunty's room. Then they heard noises from the basement, so Ryan and the police officer went down to see what the noise was. Then they heard singing coming from Ryan's bedroom. They notes that Ryan's CD radio was turned on. Ryan turns off his radio when he leaves the room. The police had to make Ryan move somewhere elts for awhile. 5 years passed, he's 16 years old and taking care of his Uncle Joe. So him and Joe didn't do to much. Ryan has the gift to talk to ghosts and spirits and talks to him self most of his time. Every body in his family are dead and keeped every hat his dad got, every sunglasses his mom got and living in Raven's and Joe's house and his grandparents Jerry & Marry passed away from cancer. Poor Ryan has nobody but his best friend (Leno) who lives next door. They are so close they felt like family. Then next year came and Leno got shoot by a criminal with car lodes of money bags. So Ryan was all alone with no money or anybody to live or love with. Then spirits of his family came. Poor Ryan was crying and crying until a girl with the same problem came into his life. She was rich, lives in a Manichean, and beautiful. Her name was Sara. She has lightish darkish hair, the same height and age as him. He feel in love and asked her out and was afraid she'll say no. But she said "yes". He was so happy that he found someone who was just like him. But he keeped getting emotional cause his aunty's house burnt down and had no where to go. So he lived with her. he has a room for his spirit family. He was so happy he wasn't paying close enough on where he was going that he got hit by a Hummer Limo on their wedding. They had a funeral and now he's the spirit.

 THE END

Author's Note

hope ya like it

Reviews

[Salar Majak]

with some rewritting this would be great, the story is dark although it has a sense of humour, i think you should try to verify your style, write in one tense, either use the past or the present, but hey, this is beautiful, don't get furstrated by my words, i enjoyed it greatly :)

[Andrew (MJ) Nugteren]

thank you and i will

[Felicity's Eve]

This is dark....

Good work! ^^

I would consider a quick re-write if I were you, though. Comma and spelling errors. Stuff like that.

No worries. They are easily fixed. :D

[Andrew (MJ) Nugteren]

thanks i will
:-D

[Felicity's Eve]

:)

[Andrew (MJ) Nugteren]

:-)