SMILE

Here I am, trying to hold on to who I am
Through good weather friends, really just conflicting fits of selfishness
Through the disappointment of burning the seasons of my life
Through this first spring that didn’t mean anything
Through memories when it still used to be “blood on blood”
Living the utopia by bits and pieces in this dirty apartment
Getting my strength from the luminous SMILE of a heartbroken kid
Pretending that these supergirl shoes are not too tight
Hitting my head on the forever sharper corners of the world’s pettiness
Striving to still believe in a vocation that saves, and in a love that saves and in a connection that saves
Because You’re not there anymore and You were never there and You’re only there in my head
Because I walked the distance to here and I’m tired and broken and spent and choleric
Because God didn’t make it in the pale light of one thousand wind-blown candles this Easter and I can’t pray
So here I am, looking into the dawn of another tomorrow born despite me,
Bargaining for flee-market feelings, all the images in my head dried up and finally silent

Reviews

[Molly]

"Flea-market feelings" really spoke to me. That and hitting your head on the world's pettiness. Kudos on a good piece of poetry.