The blank page

As I walked along the sidewalks, I looked around me; homes that looked like home. The stars were beautifully shining down from the dark sky, and the moon was shining brighter than ever before. I held his fingers tight between mine, and felt the warmth that they had. I smiled as a tear ran down my cheeks. There was a certain excitement in me, but also a feeling of being afraid. Terrified of the fact that soon, the only thing that everyone I loved and I had in common was we could see the moon.

 

            I woke up, looking straight into the mirror in front of my bed. My hair was definitely not in the right place. When I turned my head around, that wasn’t my biggest worry anymore. The mess I had created around my suitcase was like a volcano had erupted in my room. What I had put in it did I not know, nor did I know what else to put in it. I was sure I had taken every single item in the dark red suitcase at least five times. Even these five weren’t enough.

            Outside my window I could see the sun shine in. When I heard a knock on the door, I ran downstairs, I saw his face. The moment was perfect. I appreciated every single second I had with my loved ones, and every single second of every single day were perfect, until the thought of not seeing them for years sneaked up on me. The last time before I had to put my personality out there, where no one knew who I was, and might not even accept me. He walked in and we went up into my bedroom. I looked around and saw all the pictures and things that reminded me of home, of people who accepted me. Pictures of me as a baby in my baby blue pajamas and of him and me, they were all there. Reminding me of the love that my life was filled with. I had no clue why I wanted to leave.

 

            We were up talking all night that day. The greatness of having someone who didn’t stare at you because you didn’t dress like you should have was priceless. Someone who didn’t judge you, who knew who you were, who listened carefully to every word that came out of your mouth, who laughed with you through good times and cried with you through bad times. In the end, after tears, laughter and lots of talking, we both fell asleep.

 

            As I came downstairs, my mom had made me one last breakfast, my favorite, homemade bread with strawberry jam, thinking that this was my last normal meal. The next breakfast would probably be a donut or a cupcake, American style. Where Starbucks and McDonalds ruled every street corner.

 

            The time flew by and there I was. Standing in front of gate # 12. A boy walked by and stared at me. This was the moment I had tried to twist and turn and picture ever since 5^th grade. It now came to life; this was real. No more imagination. Reality. The tears slowly started to run down from my eyes as I saw my loved ones further and further away. Like a tunnel where the light was in the back, and everything in the future was black. There was no turning back. This was like a script being turned into a movie, my dream in real life.

            I could see the San Francisco Bridge from the air. It came closer and closer. As we reached ground, I took one step outside; it felt like this place was meant for me, fresh and warm air blowing in my hair. It felt like home. My iPod played “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield loudly, as I sung with in my head.

 

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

 

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

 

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

 

            And so on. In my Urban Outfitters’ shorts, my shirt from Gant and beach hat, I could feel the sunshine through my Ray Bans. I took off my hat and put my fingers through my short hair to feel the wind. This was a dream come true. All the people, all the new experiences, the new culture, the shopping, the beaches, everything! I had so much lying ahead of me as my story was about to be written.