This is goodbye

A letter to the one who taught me how to love the hard way

Dear You

I met you and my whole world changed, the first time I lay my eyes on you something changed I changed everything around me at that moment stopped, I could hear my heartbeat, I could smell you and I could see myself in your eyes. I never knew you but I felt like you are my dream come true then you spoke to me and that is where it all began.

You became my friend and for weeks we shared small talks that made my day, the way you looked at me was magical and you warmed my heart with your smile. I did not know what  I felt for you because whatever it was, was too strong for me and I was scared because I found myself imagining my life without you, and my life without you was empty yet you were just a stranger who showed up in my life just like that.

The moment I knew I was never going to see you again, I was crushed and I made a choice that took us to where we are right now. I took a risk and I told you how I felt and before I even told you how I felt I know you knew. After I told you how I felt you never said anything to me for months and for months I never saw you but I never forgot about you. Until I saw you again and I decided I couldn't live without knowing  and the words “I am seeing someone else” crushed me into a million pieces, and I asked myself for months you had the chance to tell me all this but you never did.

I never saw you as often but what we had was gone, but I see the way you look at me and I see it in your eyes and I wish you would stop looking at me that way. I wish you never talked to me that day, you should just have ignored me and I would be free from you.

Before I met you, I thought love was a joke and I thought love was for the week, when people said “I could not imagine life without you.” I thought they were just being stupid. But you came along and everything I ever thought about love changed.

I would love to so much hate you right now but I can't and we might never be together but I want to thank you for showing me that loving someone else other than myself is possible.

Every time I have been in relationships imperfections were one thing that made me run, but I saw your imperfections and I still wanted to stay. I know you more than you think  and I can see through your emotions. I know when you are happy, angry, sad, mad and high I don't know how but I do.

I am writing this because I am letting you go, I have learned a lot from you, you have made me a stronger person without even realizing it. I am walking away not because I don't love you anymore but because I have to move on with life and because I know someone out there is waiting for me and I owe it to him to let you go.

I wish you all the happiness and joy in the world, you are and will always be my heart's desire.

Goodbye,

Me.