Running on empty

I hate the nights
When sleep just evades me
And my racing mind
Does its best to persuade me
Of everything wrong
That I've been or could be
Locked in with my thoughts
That scream I'll not be free
While trapped in a body
Doing is best to defeat me
I hate the nights
When I'm less than I could be
And I'm all out of fight
But quitting's not in me
So I stare at the ceiling
Like there's answers I should see
Engraved in the paint
That's hanging above me
Instead of just dreaming
Like I wish I could be
I hate the nights
When everything hates me
And even my soul
Is running on empty.

Author's Note

Hoping to be understood clearly

Reviews

[Sameeksha Vadisherla]

I am reminded of this ''It is a bad day, not a bad life''. Beautiful poem, Andra.
'Locked in with my thoughts
That scream I'll not be free' Relatable lines. Never let those inner demons control you.

Powerful poem and thank you for sharing, Andra.
Stay Happy :)

[Andra Davis]

Thank you 😊

[Sameeksha Vadisherla]

Most welcome :)

[Twilight]

Possibly, "running on empty"; could be down to mental exhaustion even.? Or, simply; overthinking different aspects of your life..?

[Twilight]

Well, this seems to depict a restless soul; but one who is also trapped in a negative cycle. Although, without separate verses, I think that almost helps - by bringing the different symptoms of your unsettled mind; into focus at the same time.? Lack of sleep in itself, could be a factor in bringing about such an unsettled state of mind. And yet, lots of thinking unfettered; could be perpetuating this state of unease; whilst also being a barrier to you falling into a a satisfied dream state - at night. Thanks for sharing. You're welcome to send me plenty of "read requests", if you like.

[Andra Davis]

Thank you Twilight.

[Shreya Dixit]

The image of staring at the ceiling, searching for answers in the paint, is incredibly vivid and relatable. It perfectly captures that desperate yearning for escape.This is a very relatable poem. You've captured the feeling of those long, lonely nights when self-doubt creeps in and sleep seems impossible.
I truly enjoyed reading this poem.

[Andra Davis]

You ain't being honest - this write isn't perfect. This review fits more talented ppl here. On this poem it reads fake. Thank you Shreya.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness! can i ever relate to this one, Andra ... i am old and it can be expected that sleepless nights are not uncommon; but when i wake up and can not get back to sleep my mind races in hundreds of directions and most always circle the negative ... i just get up .. go watch TV .. pray ... read the Bible .. get on line and read poetry .. right here at the Cafe' .. nice to meet you .. i noticed a review you left on Divya's pages and stopped to read and say hi ... peace and love
E.

[Andra Davis]

Thank you E. Handshake.

[emipoemi]

Holy mole!!! Insomnia is a beast and I've had my fair share of run-ins with it, but this poem! Divine! The repeating sound of "ee" in the rhyming portions, despite much of it being same words rhyming with each other, is brilliantly balanced by the musicality changing where the stress points of each sound land. Like the very chaos ravaging the mind described in the very poem. The chaos is the poem! And we feel it! Brava! bravely brava! Well freaking done! Much enjoyed.

[Andra Davis]

Thank you for reviewing so kindly emipoemi.

[emipoemi]

my absolute pleasure.

[Gee]

There are many a night owl in the cafe who will relate to this piece. I guess I'm fortunate that I nod off as soon as my head hits the pillow but come 4:30-5:00 am I am wife awake with an excited cocker spaniel beating his tail off the bed covers imploring me to rise:)
Enjoyed the read Andra

[Andra Davis]

Wow. 5 am is midnight for me :)
Thank you for the review Gee

[mou]

'Hoping to be understood clearly'
- how could one not feel it, understand it...? 'Empty soul at night' speaks to me. You've painted it eloquently, Andra
- mou

[Andra Davis]

Thank you Mou. :)

[willweb]

I used to be the same way but now I love the night, I relish the sleep and know that, the faster I fall asleep, the faster I get to begin a new day. Maybe I just have a different ceiling. : ) Nicely written.

[Andra Davis]

Thanks willweb :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I wonder if that ceiling has any answers at all....I wonder.
j.

[Andra Davis]

Thank you.

[Andra Davis]

Thanks to all the lovely people who reviewed this.