"Daddy Jack..."

Tomorrow' in the USA is "Father's Day" - 2012

I never met or even saw a single picture of my dad.  From the fourth grade on of course the other guys noticed that my sisters and I each had different last names and that neither matched our then current home mailing address.  Yes, there was a price we paid for that - even in a Catholic Parish's Grade School.

Jack was my next sister's dad.  How impressive is a person that I remember him today - so many years having passed.  I went to see him once several years after I joined the Marine Corp.  We were actually on the same side of the country AND within the same state!  He had a family and while they accepted me - well, too many years had passed without knowing and I hadn't yet learned how to forgive him for leaving me behind - I was four.  

 

"Daddy Jack..."

I remember -
  being held
  being teased
  your smile
  your words...

I remember -
  your voice
  your eyes
  your favorite things
  the little things...

I remember -

  the car

  the rides

  airborne after you passed over the bump

  "WHEEE THRILL!!"  said over and over

  - each planned time.

I remember -
  being at the fence -

  watching, crying
  reaching and reaching

  hurting so very bad

  you LEFT me...
 
I remember -
  empty sunsets
  silent rooms...
  you...
  and that you weren't mine
  afterall
...still.

Chris

Author's Note

Feel Free

Reviews

[Dayran]

My father passed away when I was twelve. In retrospect I realize its been a little strange not having a guide as to gender identity. I lived with the memory of my father....it brought me to a strange isolation....from which I saw the world. The world I saw wasn't real....I saw it as a make believe....and I thought the women we running everything by and large. I started to think it was funny and I used to laugh a lot.


There was a lady who corrected me on it and suggested that if it was so wrong why don't I help out. I started to do that and realized that a great deal of what I began was to help me learn on my own. I started to laugh again some time back and some of it at women....but without being mean ( I think ) but to share in the quintessential experience of learning. Curiously, some make believe has started to creep into my thoughts. I'm more orderly and I am my own father ideal. There's a little make believe coming back....I don't know where its from....I stick to what I can explain.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Perfect work. I love how you introduce your works with such brilliant intensity. This is an example of that.

[Eve]

oh, I remember reading this one but got pulled away, there are fathers that are REAL fathers, and then there are bio fathers that aren't worth a dime. I've been lucky enough to have a real dad even though he really wasn't my own, so I can really feel this poem. well done my friend.

[?]

Well I wasn't expecting to cry this early in the morning...such a tear jerker, so heartfelt...touching

[Btwixer]

This pulls on heart strings, very nicely expressed. ((Thanks for your review))

[...]

Seems we have some things in common, chris. Never knew my dad either, although I did see him after I was grown to forgive him for leaving me.

[Tamelia Jade]

Really touching and powerful. Bittersweet memories... I loved your last lines in particular, knowing that you can never say, "He's my dad."
Thank-you for a beautiful poem! :)

[Southern Cross]

always a peek into your soul..and what makes you.. the you of such intensity and understanding. Our experiences, our memories are the threads of our skin..thank you for sharing your cloth.

[Wendy Seames Garner]

How sad that you never knew your father, and the only one you knew as a father was taken away from you! ((Hugs))

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

Thank you for sharing this of you. Always beautiful but this is so honest. Not cryptic or wrapped in that poetic eye you have. Hung out there. Thank you for that faith in us all with this.