"I Wandered A Bit..."

 "I Wandered A Bit..."

I wandered a bit

here

there...

 

and paused

and listened

 

...your thoughts are echoing within in a sad way...

Our reasons for writing are wide and varied as are our reasons for reading and listening.

 

Picking out the exact moment of change is still not always easy even with hindsight ...but we speak of perceptions

...and lettings go. 

 

Endings accepted

even as the pairing continues. 

Was it really Love?

once...

 

Did you count the moments apart

then - with baited breath

now - with smiles and sparkling thoughts.

How well we tie our selves

to anything we touch,

see,

smell,

sometimes even what we think

and how.

We tie and tie

all the whens and wheres

... with ribbons and bows

and even the very years
of breaths paused AND taken.

 

Even our tears

have a cost,

and we know ...we know

but

can't stop ourselves

because the feeling is all

we ever dreamed of touching

and if only for a second

just ...one ...second,

God it was awesome!

 

Ya know?

So many stars light our eyes 'til we're all aglow.  We almost can't see and yet we smile... breathe and continue as we must - because we can, because its what we do - continue.

Its hell being liked
for it doesn't matter that you

did or didn't

do anything at all -

were any way different for one instant

than the last moment you breathed...

Its so damn real

in ways you never believed

anything at all could be so

...so damnably ...real

because

things just aren't THAT way at all

ever

- at all

and then ...
they ARE that way

- after all.

You don't even know that you dream and yet its just always right there - just behind your eyes...

...and with every look
you're seen

with every breath

you're heard
and when you gaze so damnably far away

its all so much nearer than your next breath...
so much ...nearer

than the cold distant stars
that twinkle, twinkle
- little stars

how I wondered where you - ares

up above my world so bare

like little diamonds hard and uncaring

empty cold... tear drops

frozen in time and place

glistening in my life

my every where...
and ...I don't wish

can't

wish

can't dream

can't hope or breathe or be or

be worth being wanted

or touched

held

or even dare ...reach

but I do

want

breathe

wish - FEEL - SEE
LIVE!!

 

Damn, its hell being we...

Chris

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[dukovan]

im almost finished reading the screwtape letters, and the whole idea of manipulating the past and anticipating the future to compare to the present, comes to mind when screwtape talks about how we are constantly detatching ourselves from "now", and thats what the demons want. Sometimes its an allegory, though sometimes it feels very real and urgent to read. Either way 20 years here on earth I can completely agree...its hell being we.

[emmajoy]

This is more than.. breathing.. dreaming.. being.. tis the sanctity of feeling more than more for one glorious time.

' Even our tears ~ have a cost,~ and we know ...we know ~ but ~ can't stop ourselves ~ because the feeling is all ~ we ever dreamed of touching ~ and if only for a second ~ just ...one ...second, ~ God it was awesome! Ya know? '

[Muse]

I like to wonder....I wonder a lot. I wonder around in my head to stay sane. Dreams are only fragments of our reality...our breath...our wish to touch...to feel. You tie and ribbon together such magic and beauty...I want to cry when I read you.

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this, the title an echo of classical poetry, then the fairy-tale quote with
twinkle twinkle little star, and the way you break up the phrases to slow the
poem down and so gain attention and dramatic effect, good write.

[Renée]

Again, silently reading..taking in all the different facets to this piece

[Michael G.]

You bring your reader through a whirlwind of true, accurate thoughts that we all do, should do, know, and should know... but forgotten for the moment... you kindly nudge us and cause us to remember and think.
Brilliant as always, Chris.

[sharonlee]

Sigh... it can be hell...and so damn empty sometimes; an empty hell.

But... there are times when it all at least seems, wonderful. Ya know?

Powerfully voiced.

[Southern Cross]

So beautifully composed ..wrapped in want, need , desire and dreams. "its all so much nearer than your next breath...
so much ...nearer
than the cold distant stars" and so much is ya know....

[nevermindfan1991]

You sir to me are a bonafide poet. I've read so much work recently and the problem that I see in most people's pieces are that they tell and never show. You show but not too much. Your word choice creates a confused yet delicate, spacious atmosphere. This stream-of-conscious poem was great because it the narrator never reached a acceptable conclusion. I guess that has to do how difficult is for most people to live in the moment. We constantly think about pass regrets and worry about future problems. We never let it go and just take in the most and it's not because we can't. I know people can but it's these intrusive thoughts about the past and future that keep us from enjoying life at that particular moment. Well, that's what I think. Anyway, great poem and great ending. Your word choice is very unique as well. I saw no cliches or overused phrases. Your writing style reminds me of Walt Whitman...

[Emily B]

damn, it so IS