It's a Sunday. I got to think of - little things, moments ...memories, dreams, wishes. I thought of people - friends, family ~ and some I never knew well enough and now can't. Places, that are - that once were... places that never will be anyplace again. Places to be from and all the whys... all the whys.
All the things that meant - anything, through the time I've had. And yes I felt the bad and the very, very, worse and then the moments you can't ever measure how good they were. And I cried... hard ... because I needed to - right then...
...And it was loss and yet it also wasn't. I lived my life as I could. Made my choices - accepted what I had to. I tried and sometimes smiled - sometimes not... and some times couldn't smile or do a thing.
I've been afraid - with and without reason. Prayed to die ...prayed not too. Seen and walked from things no one should. I feel the hurt behind most peoples' eyes because I can, because it seems I always could. A lot of tears ...fall... quietly in silent days and empty nights.
I remember how to breathe each sunrise... forget each sunset ...and miss the damnedest things - little absolute nothings that meant more than anyone - except me - ever guessed.
"What Makes Me Cry..."
Tears falling helplessly, A father's pride, A mother's endless look.
Children realizing tomorrow came, friends falling forever silent,
sitting on seawalls at 3 AM.
Having not to wish, always saying hello, reliving every "Goodbye".
Tears are such little things
that somehow leak from deep within us all and they always fall for every why there ever will be endlessly ...one drop at a time to me.
Chris,
This is so beautiful..so touching...and such a deep heartfelt piece..I think each time I read from you...I learn to stop and pause even more...we dont do that enough...This touched me so much...The last stanza was and is such a perfect ending to this wonderful piece..Awesome piece...
BTW...what makes me cry?...Everything now a days...(It's a woman thing)...lol
Silly how a tear came, when I remembered shoes, on the wrong feet .. and no money to place under waiting pillows, for lost teeth .. .. and little hands that held on so tight, to my apron strings .. and how I felt , when they let go, forever .. ..
Alone, or in a crowd, tears seem to come over little nothings , but it's not really about the little nothings .. . It's about all the omissions .. .and about all those things we did commit, that can't be taken back, that caused someone else's tears .. .. Right now, for me, it is about all the reasons, for lonely ..
No broom or dustpan needed Chris .. Gifts should never be thrown out, just held close, forever .. .. thank you ..
Sometimes to cry is just a release of everything that has been building up over time. It's like a spring cleaning. We remember all the slights and all the joys and in equal measures we cry for what passed and what's to come. I too have always been able to see the sadness behind the eyes. It's a burden at times and sometimes a blessing. I liked this.
"Life is a terminal disease." All the doctors have basically told me so.
"Life is an adventure... Pain, well you deal. Thanks for being here. 06/21/2020
I'm back and working on. I've been.. more..