"My What..."

I know what I'm trying to say - I just don't know the how...

Sometimes I wonder what I love... never a who - what...
A person, persons, people... that's different from any concepts of what - you know?

Perhaps that - a "what" - is a draw as well.  You gain a mindset by "whats" that you haven't and wishes - that you have.  And as you exist all the noseprints coalesce into a certain extension of reality.

"What"...

For me a "what" isn't dependant upon ownership of "things" or signs of wealth or it's lack... or transcendent beauty and "untouchable" look-at-me-onlies.  I think perhaps its the sense of accepting the presence of something ...some indefinable existence ...some word yet to be coined and offered to encompass the gist of what I can't adequately say.  Coming ...home... is close - but only close.

"My What..."

I've lived the words within me
they are all that remained mine
  as each and every 'thing' was taken
  one-by-one
  moment-by-moment.

I learned to wear my heart,
my care, each thought
  each breath a single skin
  that remains unshed.
And as my eyes flow
its not with any meanness I pause
in wonder and then wander.

...I'm not you

nor any other... no excuses -
we've each our reasons lived.
Your world - is yours,
your thoughts - are yours -
ways to do and be,
how's to accept or not,
yours

and I?  'Tis the other existence -
stand a moment pausing
just gazing
...just to look,
and just a look
and looking
...always in.

 
But it ISN'T what's yours
that I want - I DON'T ENVY, any one.
I smile at each pause
and accept each "what" for the "what" it is
- yours, and then wander on.

Strange how thoughts
interweave and flow... but wishes
- never really go.

I guess it's like a SENSE of having
- within a world, even one that's yours -
a single spot -
that I needn't wear within me,
having a "what" where I can go.

Chris

Author's Note

Whips and chainsaws... BUT, there IS a broom and pan in the corner for neat freaks.

Reviews

[symmetryAsymmetry]

I wonder why the human brain was designed in such a way that it locates problems to solve where really there aren't any...
why can't we just love and live....just BE...without having to figure out the why what how etc.
but then that's exactly what I've begun doing here :-p

this poem made my mind wander off into space...to a place from where every real thing seemed in a different dimension and I was just looking on..

deliciously woven.. :-)

[emmajoy]

'what' is observed by only your eyes, felt by only your hands, known only by your heart. It asks for nothing, not even to be noticed - but you do. Tis unique, tis how you and it regard each other bcause you're aware. It's seeing not merely looking: without judgement, loving without requesting love, unless, of course, it's what you want. It's knowing it never leaves you but has its own place, somewhere ..

'Tis the other existence - stand a moment pausing ~ just gazing ~ ...just to look, ~ and just a look ~ and looking ~ ...always in.'

[Jasmine]

I LOVE that you've used the word "noseprints"... that is fantastic. I don't know why.

I can't work out whether this is a poem or an extract from a philosophy book. Maybe both, maybe neither... maybe I need to "coin a word" for what this is.

Woah, I'm dizzy now, i think I need to go lie down...

[sharonlee]

... a what for my where... a who for my why...
a tear for a cheek... and an ear for my sigh...

...you brought out some off the cuff thoughts my friend...smiling here....

[Penlady]

Around my house, I hear often the phrase, it is WHAT it is. I think the WHAT in this life that is desired is knowing that there is understanding. Not the solving of any problem or the satisfying any need for us, just others understanding that there is a need and acknowledging it.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Some things . . and some people's whats .. my whats .. . Hummmm ..I think it is up to each one how involved they become .. .. and how they "dress out" every day .. I guess some do just pause, look in the windows, then wander on .. Some break down doors .. intrude upon .. hungry to be a part of .. something, someone ....The word lonely comes to mind .. and the words self-ish .. and the word self-less .. .. .. We dare not join with, because we might lose again .. but still we hope to be asked .. ..
Ok .. enough .. I shall return to my little world ... and my "Home" ... ..

Just Jazz .. .

[Emily B]

i've only lived part of the words within me . . . but i'm working on the rest

[patricia]

I liked this...letting others be who they are...like a passing observer only mildly interested. I liked how it started...Sometimes I wonder what I love, never a who...it made me think, do I even do what I want to do, or why am I doing this, like driving through life without ever stopping to see if I'm in the direction I want to be....I can feel a headache coming on...
Thanks.