"My What..."

I know what I'm trying to say - I just don't know the how...

Sometimes I wonder what I love... never a who - what...
A person, persons, people... that's different from any concepts of what - you know?

Perhaps that - a "what" - is a draw as well.  You gain a mindset by "whats" that you haven't and wishes - that you have.  And as you exist all the noseprints coalesce into a certain extension of reality.

"What"...

For me a "what" isn't dependant upon ownership of "things" or signs of wealth or it's lack... or transcendent beauty and "untouchable" look-at-me-onlies.  I think perhaps its the sense of accepting the presence of something ...some indefinable existence ...some word yet to be coined and offered to encompass the gist of what I can't adequately say.  Coming ...home... is close - but only close.

"My What..."

I've lived the words within me
they are all that remained mine
  as each and every 'thing' was taken
  one-by-one
  moment-by-moment.

I learned to wear my heart,
my care, each thought
  each breath a single skin
  that remains unshed.
And as my eyes flow
its not with any meanness I pause
in wonder and then wander.

...I'm not you

nor any other... no excuses -
we've each our reasons lived.
Your world - is yours,
your thoughts - are yours -
ways to do and be,
how's to accept or not,
yours

and I?  'Tis the other existence -
stand a moment pausing
just gazing
...just to look,
and just a look
and looking
...always in.

 
But it ISN'T what's yours
that I want - I DON'T ENVY, any one.
I smile at each pause
and accept each "what" for the "what" it is
- yours, and then wander on.

Strange how thoughts
interweave and flow... but wishes
- never really go.

I guess it's like a SENSE of having
- within a world, even one that's yours -
a single spot -
that I needn't wear within me,
having a "what" where I can go.

Chris

Author's Note

Whips and chainsaws... BUT, there IS a broom and pan in the corner for neat freaks.

Reviews

[Southern Cross]

i have come to adore your philosophical ways, making me think beyond just the thought. This poem weaves it's way into your heart like a master craftsman. Beautiful and again, so thought provoking.

[Priscilla Sayers]

Beautifully woven into my thoughts with ease, with pleasure. You breathed the words and I sighed, as I slowly and with the sweet essence that is you, I inhaled.
Thank you, Chris.
With Love,
Pri

[Emily Rae]

this touches on some intense philosophy! I can tell that you are a deep thinker. I'll have to keep reading it to let it's meaning resonate.

One thing: I like that your "what" is close to coming home. That stuck in my soul.

[Lorna]

First of all I just wanted to say; you have just given me the best review I ever had. Thank you so much for that.
You provoke so many different emotions in this piece, and you promote a different style at the slip of a pen, as if it is just really really easy for you. That is absolutely incredible and I'm hoping to learn how to do that one day. Be able to write and not even need to consider how, because you just write, just right.

[Jack Isaac]

My "what" is all too often a "why" which sends my brain off wondering and wandering in search of tangible clues, like tracing a thread to its fray. Should this search delude itself to an "if" forget it. Then to terminate with an undisputable therefore, is to revel in ecstasy... be it only of my own mind. What then do I wear as a badge? A star perhaps, or something that resembles something to wish upon. I never considered my "what" until now.

[Emerald Seas]

I enjoy the pace an style to your writings. This is a thought provoking piece. What do we really own, but our inner self, our soul?

[Wendy Seames Garner]

You are an unusual man, Chris! I just love your writing, it makes me stop and think about life and the world. Most of the time I'm a whirlwind of motion, trying to get this and that done, not thinking such deep thoughts.

[Kat Sayers]

I love this. This speaks of wisdom and truth. A true poet graces my screen.

[Norma M Sutton]

A what, peace of being I suppose. Interesting thought.

[olla]

I am going to have to read this a few more times.. I like the phrase "we've each our reasons lived" and a couple others too..