"N(ever)E(ver)G(ive)U(p)..."

Never Ever Give Up... still echoes

I've been away, but not really -away.  I've silently wandered the posts.  Looking and looking, listening, feeling each heartbeat.  Dealing... dealing as each of us must, when we must - deal: with our shortcomings; with our own perceptions; with the passing of time; with hurts - our own and sadly, others; with life and how we AND others live - and sometimes don't.

Today I heard of NEGU... and a 12 year old whose passing didn't need me to add anything at all to her own proof of existence and personal recognition.  "Never EVER Give Up..." (NEGU).  The hands we are dealt by life are without rhyme or reason, and often seemingly disregard all sense of Karma.  And yet, sometimes even when we lose - we win; because, its how we PLAYED our existence!  How we faced - fear and dissolution, the unknown, the dark, the pure BAD - while we hoped, HOPED for better than we had.  We actually held hope within and sometimes we reached beyond our own tears - they weren't just for ourselves.

Bravery is KNOWING you're frail and hurting and still doing what you can - as best you can... because YOU can and it needs being done.  Bravery is fading away as you hold others' hands so they aren't so alone or afraid.  Bravery is a 12 year old speaking as a 12 year old hoping to be 13 - but doesn't make it.  Its being a new wife AND becoming a new mother and THEN facing eight months of seperation while her newly enlisted air force husband does basic and gets assigned schooling;  Its being together and packing and the morning you are ready to board the plane for North Carolina you find a lump when you shower.  Its C - returned from when you were 16.  Bravery is feeding your kids.  Its having enough hope within to even want to HAVE kids.  Hell, bravery is sharing when you haven't even got enough for one let alone two - or more.

"NEGU..."

Its January

but right NOW the SUN is outside my window.
Its cold, several inches of new snow
but its BRIGHT and white - clean and clear.
Its so quiet - I had the TV on but it wasn't "good" noise
now its just the creaks and crackles as everything chills down

- even me.

Walking without purpose is different -

you sort of amble - good word "amble".
In and out of rooms doing - nothing
going - nowhere

eventually you don't see, you just go
things move table to shelf to end table to somewhere else
...somewhere else - even people move to somewhere else.

How still can you be...
how far can you stare
...and where

I didn't notice what made the tracks
whether it was left-to-right
or  right-to-left
...they were just - there

dark, deep patterns across the white
of my mind... "Never Ever Give Up..."
echoed
inside
somehow - somewhere - somewhen,
and the little girl's voice had a smile...

How still can you be...
how far can you stare
when you aren't alone
inside...

Chris

Reviews

[Ruth]

I seem to have been drawn to the more saddening aspects of life through your words today...think I will light a candle - have a few voices in my head today that need some warmth too...again, final stanza, you always bring it home and you can only stare so far if empathy is in your soul x

[Wendy Seames Garner]

Your compassion has no bounds, Chris.

[Mary Fioratti]

Reading you tonight Chris I see that we all have these kind of feelings. Fear. Strenght... and never give up should be our theme in life. See the beautiful things around us. Live them. We are never alone inside, when we think how many good things God gave us.
((((Hugs))))
*Mary*

[sharonlee]

I won't...if you won't....

[turning violet]

Inspirational, once again great....

[Rene Velez]

this is great, the thoughts and words are brilliant, NEGU... I never do Chris.

[emmajoy]

'How still can you be...
how far can you stare
when you aren't alone
inside...'

and that's what matters .. feeling so sad about your words but somehow comforted by their beauty and empathy.

[J Todd Underhill]

Wow stunning and haunting my friend, it brought a tear to my eye as I read it, and for a good reason. I will not share publicly but can only say that this well written and thought out piece has touched me, and will be with me for years after reading it. NEGU no matter what the odds, no matter what is throw, no matter what the circumstance. As long as you have life and breath NEGU

[asdarkeyesclose]

i liked your reflections in this. a perceptive piece of writing that celebrates human bravery against the odds.