"Breathing On Demand..."

Some more thoughts

"Breathing On Demand..."

When you're just near
- I listen to my heart beat stuttering

and feel  every breath in lungs too tight .

...And then you paused - spoke...

"My hands got so chill, clammy.
and I froze
rooted
dumb - its like I almost know what to say
and then
and then - damn
... you looked
at me
into me
and I couldn't turn
or move
and I can't
can't think
can't move
can't speak...
I'm so frozen, afraid -
afraid you'll notice
me - and how I'm not -
not much of anything really...
nothing at all special or worth your notice

or touch
or smile...
and if you did
DID
notice me
I'ld die...
I'ld -I'ld just be in heaven
I wouldn't know how to stop smiling
to NOT smile
to NOT FLOAT
- into tomorrow -
to not breathe ever again
without feeling the press of your hand in mine
your fingertips brushing my cheek
without dreaming of your lips
and the presence of YOU
in my life.

Please... please stay?
Please..."

"Uh, uh... its just around the corner -
and to the right."

Chris

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[Ruth]

To find the heart is sometimes not as complex as thought.

God, a moment spent reading you, is a moment of meeting tomorrows with a smile xx

[Lilly Negoi]

ahhhh, what a masterful ending :). superb!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"nothing at all special or worth you notice"- very self deprecating....of course, you're special. Held my breath on this one. :)

[Brandi Nicole]

you just took me there....there with you and the object of your desire. my heart fluttered...anticipating where your words would take me next and then it sank when the ride was over (for both the reader and the story teller). awesome!

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

I really enjoyed this. It made me think that I was watching a scene from a play. I think we all have had these thoughts moving around our heads and hope that for just once that person wants to be with us. I do like the ending too. It was crushing and heartbreaking in a way. I think we all can sympathize with this poem because I believe we have all been in a similar situation. Great Job!

[Ursula Kay Vos]

That was a great piece, it built the anticipation and teased with suspense. Just as it came to a close you show your cards to the reader and show this is the inner thoughts~ an awe stricken man or woman. That was a great read. Please correct me if I am wrong.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Scary good.

[?]

What anticipation you have brought me (the reader into), This is wonderful and seems so real, like we have all been there, dont that.

We are all special in our own way, to ourselves, to another.

What another wonderfully realistic piece Chris.
You are special to me as a friend as I do love reading your work.

[Joiedevivre]

truly gorgeous, felt every word swirl in me like a tangy bonbon

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Good write...I could feel the longing in this...