"Dominoes..."

"Dominoes..."

I didn't whisper your name in my sleep...

thought a bit
wandered a bit...

gazed out my inner window - a bit...
but I didn't whisper your name.

I watched the sun rise -
didn't blink
didn't flinch,
FELT the heat grow
as inch-by-inch
the slow burn felt good and right -
and night was day

- there is a heaven in hell.

No good deed goes unpunished
- we're responsible for the world
- we make momentary ~ choices

and the world turns and the dominoes -

realign... just to fall and fall
and the last one over - kicks the first one back up
and on-and-on 'til
a new pattern is breathed into existence

and as the eyes open
the falling rebegins.

At points we cross
intersect
touch
intertwine and act
react
turn on emotional dimes
and wish we could breathe...

and find we are - breathing
but not as we thought

or wanted

or to someone else's should...

just and barely breathing
gulping - fits and starts and ends
pausing and falling again...

...I didn't whisper your name in my sleep
but we both know
I don't...

sleep.

Chris

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[Liza]

I like that you chose a domino as your imagery. The block is dark with circles of "light"; as you described - this is the struggle within; we may call it hell/heaven, desire/discipline....they all bring us to some sort of balance but the struggle is feeling the two that makes us lose sleep according to whichever fixation of the love/hate relationship we weigh in.

[emmajoygreen]

Few writers can or do write with such heart-felt emotions, Chris. Sad yet courageous thoughts set down as if offering your day-to-day emotions as submission; as if ceding to the build then fall as if a row of dominos. Things will happen, battling is pointless, the ups and down of life will do what they do, more than likely..
Your way of writing truly hits a spot where the reader has access to YOU.. wondering why the superbly laid words have been shown to one and all. Is it you wanting to release your feelings or, maybe share them. Your past needs to call out, share, read.. then listen to or and see if you're heard and understood? Your writing has always touched the heart, my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

Perfect dance of words leading to the proper ending Chris. When the dreams come. We can find things we cannot find no-more in real life. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Chris]

YOU are always welcome.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Dominoes'
Chris,
Movement of thought; a pondering, considering the what if , what is or might be.
Getting inside your narrative was great. Pay attention as this guy is sharing in a
way which brings out my own questions of life.
Your writing does that. It invites more inner narrative of the reader's own life.
Great final too:
"...I didn't whisper your name in my sleep
but we both know
I don't...

sleep.
The poem get's pulled together finally. No one is left hanging..Hee, hee.
Bless you!
Kathy
"

[Chris]

"...and you too..."

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Chris,
hope you are well and finding much good in your life. I really enjoyed your above piece. Here in the Pacific Northwest we went from an almost eighty degree day then a Midwest storm blew through by way of Alaska and today it is overcast and cold.
All the best.'
Kathy

[Ruth]

I could read your heart...every second of the day....hear you read it, every moment of my existence...and it still wouldn't be enough xx

[olla]

there are the those that must simply be felt.. THIS is one of THEM..

[JRB]

this was real sweet and very deep in my thoughts, very nice write

[sharonlee]

.... lifes 'intersections'
..... are unpredictable....
and don't always make sense
... one is often prompted
to wonder
'why bring me here, if I can't take that next step'.....
sometimes the reason becomes clear
and sometimes the reason
doesn't matter at all..
because
for a moment,
one is ... just IS....

Have missed your thoughts, my friend.
Shar

[The Analog Kid]

I like the linear feel:

"At points we cross
intersect
touch
intertwine and act
react
turn on emotional dimes
and wish we could breath..."

Very original motif!

[Jeremy Baker]

What an original way of expressing this idea - 'gazing out my inner window'. Quite unusual, but also quite brilliant.