"Wandering..."

"Pater Noster, qui es in caelis... sanctificaetor nomen tuum, adveniat regnam tuum, fiat voluntas tua sicut in caelo et in terra..." I intoned softly.  In the dark... my dark... a world's dark...

I still remember these words and the others that follow.  I remember meaning them as I spoke them and when I didn't - mean them, just spoke them.  I remember my outstretched arms meant to encompass the entire group - to gather them into what was being intoned... and when those same arms couldn't hold one in this world a moment longer.

"Wandering..."

I remember when I couldn't cry

the day my eyes couldn't turn away
the day my ears ceased existing

...and the world just stopped.

I remember
green
things - all around somehow
and colors that were just black
- on night.

I remember stars -
cold pinpoints burnt into my eyelids...

unceasing spots cascading upon retinas
that no longer cared.

I remember standing
til I couldn't -
...and how it IS to topple
disjointed -
falling boneless though wide-awake
and fully aware
- and without any control whatsoever.

I remember my friend
and his leaving...
though no one else does
or ever will.

Chris

Author's Note

say as you will...

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Wandering'
Chris,
The title pulls my attention right away. This is writing expressing the inner process of loss. It is simply true and raw, and hurtful. Sometimes life is.....
I am not always upbeat but this is a great writing because it speaks honestly to feelings and hard loss we humans sometimes feel; like a wasteland.
Well written and appreciated by me Chris.
Kathy

[Chris]

Dear Kath - you are a treasure. Take care.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

damn this tore me up...and reminded me of loss of friends, too many to count.

[Chris]

We do deal as only we can... thanks man for pausing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

with your unique style of writing, i always enjoy pausing on your page, my friend.

[Ruth]

I felt this...deeply hon xx

[olla]

moved..

[Ed Hart]

thank you

[sharonlee]

Too powerful & personal for my words to sully.....
Shar

[Lady]

The emotion you've shared with us is almost overwhelming. The opening is definitely my favorite part - it's what first lured me in, a very personal touch.
I almost feel as though I'm given a glimpse into another life, able to feel the loss yet beauty of it - such defined memories.

Beautiful!

[DistanceFromTheDawn]

Different in a magical way, I am still listening...

[Robin]

you express the personal , in tones that resonate within us all ..