"A Minuet..." Poem

T'was the day before tomorrow, the day after yesterday, but not today... not today.

"A Minuet..."

So what is it behind your eyes
that I find so... engaging.
The way you 'tease' -
the shy and subtle sideways glance -
the way your fingertips lightly
flow upon my arm as you speak
puncuating your thoughts
into my being.

...and you look into me -

not away or through.
Eyes-to-eyes -
and such soft eyes
misty magykal eyes

eyes I... get lost within and yet found
too.

I see you in the sunsets - ya know...
now. 
I do.

...and the way your head tilts - just so

and your smile...
and...

well, I'm being a bit silly I guess -
a bit over the 'edge' but...
it feels good being 'over'
and it feels good just being near,
and it feels... good
dreaming
again...

Chris

Author's Note

Say as you wish - feel free

Reviews

[x]

I like this in some ways, but it dangles over the edge of predictability, a little bit like a kid that tries to push towards the very limit of the cliff or walk on top of a wall. But when it starts to seem prosaic, you pull back and say something a little different, there's a non-awkward self-awareness about this poem.
Having seen your other work I think you can do better though. It might be personal taste, but there's a lot about 'dreaming' and 'eyes' and it doesn't make a big impact on me.

[MorganPark]

It is not silly. I think what you wrote is honesty.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

2011Chris,
This poem shows the poignancy that others besides teenagers can be breathless and intoxicated about:This was the day! As in, first line, "Twas the day before tomorrow, the day after yesterday,but not today..not today. This just seems like the emotion is set apart and special somehow. The opening line just sets off the whole poem for me.
A Minuet.. Just for two; a dance. Simple and lovely in it sentiment. "The way you tease, the shy and subtle sideways glance." and "eyes I get lost in, yet found too."
"And it feels good dreaming again. Simple, lovely, honest and just true and real. I like it a lot!
Kathy

[MelissaAndres]

I really like this. Reminds me of a young love that just teeters - does she or does she not? Excellent job on this, Chris!

[Chris]

It was nice of you to scroll back... pause anytime at all Mel.

[MelissaAndres]

Sometimes I like to look at the older works. I'm just weird that way. Haha! :)

[Chris]

Each "now" has a unique draw and flow, and the taste is timeless - sometimes.

[MelissaAndres]

I think (or at least I hope) I have improved from my early days of writing. Some people just have that "wow factor" from the very beginning though. I can tell you are one of those.

[Nestor Gonzalez]

i want to feel those feelings one day but for now you've made them real for me i'm enjoying this moments you are so kindly sharing with me.

[sharonlee]

It does indeed feel good... soft tender thoughts here that touch places forgotten.
xx

[Emily B]

it is a lovely dance, the patterns that we make as we step around the edge

[Chris]

Thank you Zaph... I really appreciate the time, effort, and words you used to express your thoughts! YOU are ALWAYS welcome to pause at my 'table'.

Chris

[Christie Moses]

This is such a wonderful, and romantic piece of writing. I was left with a smile on my face after reading. There must always be dreams to keep us feeling alive.

[Ruth]

This is another beautiful piece Chris :) I admire the amount of heart to your work...always beautifully vivid and inviting! xx