"Down..."

Its the 'night-time' of morning, and my coffee isn't quite ready yet.  I'm sitting here - in the kitchen for a bit - thinking, remembering the night... a cold and still awaitingly-empty mug in hand. 

"It was an event-full sleep, I was DOING things I felt had meaning - important things, worthwhile things, things worth the doing that I SHOULD remember having done.  I felt justifiable pride - not of arrogance or meannesses or the I-HAVE-and-YOU-don't-or-won't kind.  I can still describe the things I achieved - BECAUSE, their achieval was tangible and not just the intangible striving-toward-doing that is all so many others have to remember."

...During my life I have been a part of many things, happenings, and a witness to so very many more.  I have crossed upon so very many paths - interacted, affected, effected... an unbelievable (to others) amount of ripples upon the 'waters' of life.  ...the coffee is ready now!

"I felt the tired - but it was with accomplishment, I DID things!  I achieved, reached goals, met REAL commitments... and the smile is still in my soul."    Try to understand - please... this IS important to me.

It wasn't a dream of 'wanting' or 'desire'...  or of frustrations, decisions needing making...  or about people I had known, worked with, been with, or even wished I had been with or known.  It wasn't about worry or about trying or needing to try harder.  Or about failures... or even successes... I hadn't WON a thing or LOST - anything at all.  And I know 'Ownership' - really - it HAS a meaning and I HAVE had it.

The sky is just brightening a bit.  The coffee is good.  My eyes are filling? and my heart seems paused and this second of SADNESS is so overwhelming... damn, I feel a tear leaking, flowing unimpeeded down and down and

"Down..."

Silence -

so hard it hurts
and echoes

and I shiver as
my hands shake

intense

eyes WIDE to the
next breath
that won't come
but isn't needed...

I can't describe the scents -
sense them
KNOW them
feel and somehow TASTE them...
but not describe

I can feel the TEAR
and know its      falling
somewhere
                   AWAY
as it DOES
                   fall
somewhere away -
from my now.

...and the pause has ended -
life's dream complete...

My time seems measureably
'shorter'.

Chris

Author's Note

Speak as you like - I am not thin-skinned

Reviews

[Gray Witch]

I enjoyed that and found myself thinking that I, too, feel like that this morning! Very nicely done...I love your style of poetry..... I have never come across such before and am glad I have found it now...Thank you.

[Chris]

I'm glad you paused with me this morning... you wandered a bit further back to this one. I hope you find more to draw you back.

Take care,
Chris

[Gray Witch]

Thanks...I do like to go back to the first piece posted - It somehow makes me feel I am getting to know them at the point in time they were at - as I am ...new to this site ... I will definitely be back as I hope you will be to look at my offerings ... Leslie

[Chris]

Leslie, alwready was... Haiku form and Tanka are appreciated.

[J. J. Nightingale]

I remember being WIDE-EYED ..
will there be a breath, or not..?
In that frozen moment
as my heart attacked it's self
I knew
I wanted a little more time
to make it right

Tears...silly me, wonder if I even know
what time means.

Feeling, YOUR thoughts over coffee..

Thanks for sharing Chris.


Jazz..xo

[olla]

I remember the day I realized there was more of my life over than there was left to live..

[Eve]

Such a wonderous write but it makes me so sad, or do I make me sad? but sad I am for the tear that vanished without a name or destination or designation, hope i spelled that right, very well done Chris!

[Yuan]

I must say I'm quite surprise, I thought of E.E Cummings, though I'm not comparing for your style is original as it is, but I found myself intrigue.

[Lilly Negoi]

maybe shorter but full. this is a wonderful capture of a lifetime!

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

So deep... a lot of thoughtful introspection of mind, heart and deed. Touches the deepest part of heart and soul of how you, as a man feel at the core of your being

[Emily B]

I wrote something called 'Elusive as the Dream' one morning many moons ago. . . the crux of it was that three hearts faced their worst nightmares and emerged much the worse for wear, but somehow, even if it was a different fear for each, it was the same dream. I found comfort there.

[_mal]

Very different, and harsh in places but interesting. Unusual style