"A Moment Shared..."

A relevant rewrite and update.

People are trying to come back - even today …perhaps especially today.  And it’s hard, just as hard for them in their “nows”.  Finding meanings, finding self, finding a place - remembering how to breathe, how to BE.  A place… any place.

 

This is from a while back - quite a while and yet still …real and relevant.  Seems some of us remember the “Flower Power” Epoch a bit differently.  And yet there are a lot of parallels with today.  Especially when ya get spit on and cursed and your outlook …changes for some …reason.  Times certainly change and yet somehow they don’t.  As for people - well, people are still the way they are.  They look but don't see… hear but don't listen… and judge without thought.  Mean streets, sharp tones, still no “wheres” to go, and the silence of all the god-awful noise just fills and fills ‘til it leaks from your eyes - ya know?

 

But that's life, ya know?

 

Life as we live it… even now.

 

"A Moment Shared…”

 

 - rewrite and rewrite -

relive and relive…

 

…Memories…

seems we all have them

good, and the less good.

 

Was at a mall

I was just back from

well, …a very dark place,

a very dark and empty time…

 

She paused me in mid-step -

took my breath

…and I had the freakin’ nerve to speak!

 

I asked her -

to share a moment…

 

yeah, a moment… sigh

silly, stupid, dumb …me…

“a freakin’ moment…”

yeah.

 

and

she

laughed -

 

laughed in my face.

 

- but not with me -

- was AT me -

 

And I won’t repeat her tone nor the words,

the words she used…

…but I hear them

still…

 

~ and then she dismissed my existence

and turned and strutted away.

 

I remember that laugh

- I do -

 

It had a fullness -

a completeness about it.

 

It was honest

…silly

…fleeting

…and uniquely touching.

 

It was ultimately her(s)

- and yet also …mine…

and

It was a moment

- we -

shared.

 

And I remember it …still.

 

Chris

Author's Note

Feel free.

Reviews

[Kathleen Montgomery]

You know I really like the idea behind this poem. It was a moment. Nice flow, nice reading, it struck a lot of interesting emotions. Nice choice of words and placement of them.

[Chris]

Hello... it is nice of you to come by...

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
I am quite new to submitting any of my writing to any place..Although I have been writing for ages..
So I am therefore new to reviewing.
I came across you by chance while reviewing a gal from Poland as she had just reviewed my poem.
I really enjoyed your review and decided to check out what you write..
I so get what this poem is about.. I know the feeling so well..even though my experience was of course different.. But the feeling..the feeling was the same..I was quite young..when I think back to when I had that feeling..but then again, I am quite sure it has happened more than just that once..it just happens in different ways.. and of course as I got older my reaction was different...
Not sure if any of this makes sense.. I am just responding to my feelings about your poem...
Lisa

[Chris]

Lisa, isn't it exactly THAT - as you have described - that poetry is really about? We feel, what we experience, moments we know and lives we touched? ...even our own? You had the heart to reach ...and listen. Thank you for being ...you.

[K writes]

Some people are just unkind, and cruel, I like this write, quite intriguing as well.
I will never understand some people....

[Holly Mason]

She didn’t remember . It was all she knew. Life , it’s different from me , to you , to her . She didn’t know how to respond . She just knew , what she was taught . ( just a fleeting moment here ) but she knew ...every strand of hair must be in a perfect place , smile just right...look like it doesn’t matter and when she was done thinking of all that , there was nothing else she could remember . ( just a fleeting moment ) . And all just a maybe , but maybe. Miss you . Holly , and thank you for sharing .

[Chris]

Hope you come by again... take care, Chris

[Fran Marie]

a moment shared can last a lifetime if
it's hurtful its the little things that can
gnaw away at the other person ..rude
ruthless remarks delivered sarcastically
with a snide laugh ..as for time were
the same people who hear but don't listen
I doubt we humans will ever learn to see the
real picture

[emmajoy]

You write - and think, with enormous respect to both subject and readers, Chris. You're trying to reform or influence but state your thoughts and leave readers to stop, think and perhaps.. just perhaps take note of your finely, gently but adamantly uttered wonderings -

'As for people - well, people are still the way they are. They look but don't see… hear but don't listen… and judge without thought. Mean streets, sharp tones, still no “wheres” to go, and the silence of all the god-awful noise just fills and fills ‘til it leaks from your eyes - ya know? '

Time commits sins upon and within humanity's skin. No matter what folk have, where they come from or what they've endured, inevitably there needs be a time, an event or human being that needs to be beaten into pulp. Beings need something - anything to hate. Why? Are we so engrossed in our own little minds and habits not to see how manipulated or goaded into owning negativity rather than hope, positivity. Does war and want do those things.. did they.. and if they did.. what was learned. What?

One thing more: if war and want is- was so wonderful, so cleansing.. why has there been more than one?

[Chris]

I like ...people - always have. It's the thoughtless meannesses that many let intrude into their conscienceless 'tudes that get to my thoughts.

[Poetic Beauty]

People are often cruel and unkind. They/we don’t think before we act or speak.

Sometimes it feels as if time is repeating and being repetitive with different topics. I think God/The Universe are trying to get us to learn often repeating lessons until we finally grasp the lesson fully.

Thought provoking poem mixed with a tale of someone laugh at someone else’s expense. Definitely not a great feeling.

[Chris]

But relevant AND real. Life for so many are flavored by "moments".

[Poetic Beauty]

We all have moments that we recall over and over again. Some good some bad but yes moments that have happened.

[Chris]

Hence the relevance. We have dreams, and some touch them...some live them... and some forever wish.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Ah the 60s or as I like to think of the flower power age as the Great American Awakening. I was born during this time of enduring strife. And I find that prescient moment and its message almost all forget by those still living born of that time and slightly before. We find ourselves devoured by our own insidious nature. Forgetting peace love and harmony. Technology hasn't made us smarter or better, it's made us lazy obtuse and indifferent. It is why we are cycling back to that era now. Because we can't love each other for the beauty of our divisersity. We did nothing to resolve the hate of that time, instead allowing it to fester through our indifference. Are these the only gifts that we can give to the future generations? Hate? I hope not, and as a writer I won't leave this world without instilling some hope in it. Thank you for sharing your work.

[Chris]

Thank you for pausing and sharing your thoughts.

[olla]

seems we have lost our humanity more than once in the history of the species.. and yes.. I see more and more people sifting the ashed trying to find any shards of what was and may still be left.. this piece is so appropriate right now.. it was just announced that there would be no welcome home for our returning troupes from Afghanistan because there was no military victory.. what the hell does that mean.. 20 years of war.. soldiers sent home with broken and shattered bodies and lives.. and souls.. and lots of death.. perhaps if politicians had left it to the warriors we would have had victory.. but for me.. it is a victory for us all to stop the insanity and bring our troops home where they belong.. I will be tying yellow ribbons to every tree I can find.. we never know what we are going to get when we ask for a moment.. I have to wonder if she is still as cold and callus as she was so long ago.. all the she's of the world.. and if she ever remembers the young man who just asked for a moment.. would it have cost her so much to have given just that much.. just a little shared humanity.. I have said for a long time that we should have never turned on our soldiers when they came back from Vietnam.. and I have suffered for what I was too immature and busy to give.. not this time.. not THIS time... there is already a lot of chatter on line about a grass roots "welcome home.." I bet mine won't be the only ribbons flying.. thank you for sharing this piece..

seems I can't figure out where the proper place to post my comment is.. silly me.. and I did it twice.. better than not at all..

[Chris]

Glad you paused... and I appreciate the thoughts.

[olla]

emotions run high for so many reasons.. we can only expect to get back that which we are willing to give.. sometimes the most precious thing we have is a pause and a thought.. I give that to you now because I can and I will.. we have all been battered by the events of the day.. we all need a little human kindness right now..

[Chris Shaw]

There are some moments we share that we remember for all the wrong reasons. We remember them for the hurt they inflict. It doesn't take long to inflict hurt. Only seconds, and yet they can last a lifetime. In the hustle and bustle of life, people can be thoughtless. They may not even be doing it intentionally, but to a sensitive soul, or a lonely soul, it can stick like glue.

I read this several times Chris and was pleased to have done so. I will remember this one for far more than a moment.

Chris

[Chris]

You take care MiLady... thanks for pausing

[Chris Shaw]

Was pleased to have done so this very early morning for me. Likewise you take care too Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Fly those yellow ribbons with pride olla. I would. No military victory, so their efforts aren't worth a toss!!!! How is that going to make those soldiers feel?

[olla]

I will.. for them and for us all.. it's good to see you tonight Chris.. be well..

[Chris Shaw]

You too dear olla. Early morning here. You sleep well and peacefully when you get round to it.

[Chris]

Coffee time and sunrise watching...be well Chris.