"Rain..."

Sunday morning - it is.  Calendar says so… it does, though this one of mine doesn’t speak aloud as some now do. 

 

I

Am

Not

Depressed.

 

I mean that.  I’m not - so don’t go there - not even in jest.  This is about ME, my now …how I am this morning, today, and yesterday, and many days before that.  About how life has become (and probably for many others as well the more I really think about it).  About where it’s going - maybe, about where we - WE - are going …if - IF - we let it.

 

“Rain…”

 

It's like my mind has numbed out. 

Not depressed,

not much of anything. 

Just me, being …me.

somehow …being

somehow not.

 

Pondering, wandering

meandering

wondering

angering

wanting …something

…nothing…

doing …less

and less…

spurts of more in between.

 

Living…

days

and days

and …days

not sorry-full

not sorry at all

either more or less.

 

Sometimes -

I find myself laying down

- for hours

not asleep

…eyes closed…

mind barely aware

not racing

just …laying there

drifting

aware

drifting

away…

drifting back

into today

into now…

 

Back…

moving,

sitting up

too fast

slowing

moving

walking… balance off, found

wandering to the kitchen - coffee.

Living room - 'puter,

MS Blue screen…

Awareness growing…

growing.

 

Think it through -

making the damn thing work …again,

system up again.

Wander the world

same world

…over…

over.

 

It's cold, chilly

coffee is cold

old

chilly.

I am…cold, old,

chilled…

and yet I am.

 

I hurt,

then I don't

then I'm not

then I am

and all the while

…aware…

but in a thought-full

- not doing-full -

thought-full

…way

but not in a yesterday's way

nor a tomorrow's way.

 

I know today -

the now

…all the questions

…few of the answers

…then I want - something

then find I don't

'til the next - do.

 

I read a book or more a day

years and years

and screened the world - wide

listened

people…

 

Coffee's cold

old…

 

Nothing's silent.

Silence is the presence of everything you know

…everyone you know.

 

You ever miss a Jehovah's Witness?

 

Continuing.

Continuing…

 

Chris

 

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[Kent Rawski]

This makes me think that doing is life. Not moving brings us closer to not living. But the faster we run the closer we come to the end. It really is no escape our thoughts are experiences of life only serve to bring us to our next thought and experience of life. Perhaps so many equate doing as to the fact that we are having control in our life. To leave our Mark in the world before we pass we all must look at the future and ask. Nice write that brings up questions

[T.S. Ulmus]

You really set a tone here, for a moment I thought it might be just more meandering garbage like I've seen on this site but I realized it was a poem about the tedious nature of life. And to that end it was brilliant. You start with a statement about not being depressed and then paint a world that's a slog of numbness. Nice write.

[Chris]

People learn their art...by thinking it through, presenting as they can, speaking out and listening to others respond (or even not). The "lines" are really fine and so many really live between them... and so few reach out to touch them - the lines or the people.

I'm glad you paused, hope you will again, there are some really good poets here - Jacob, Ed, Ruth, Tate, Emily B, Emma Joy, Cardinal Robin, David... to name a very few and so very, very many learning to be better.