"Rain..."

Sunday morning - it is.  Calendar says so… it does, though this one of mine doesn’t speak aloud as some now do. 

 

I

Am

Not

Depressed.

 

I mean that.  I’m not - so don’t go there - not even in jest.  This is about ME, my now …how I am this morning, today, and yesterday, and many days before that.  About how life has become (and probably for many others as well the more I really think about it).  About where it’s going - maybe, about where we - WE - are going …if - IF - we let it.

 

“Rain…”

 

It's like my mind has numbed out. 

Not depressed,

not much of anything. 

Just me, being …me.

somehow …being

somehow not.

 

Pondering, wandering

meandering

wondering

angering

wanting …something

…nothing…

doing …less

and less…

spurts of more in between.

 

Living…

days

and days

and …days

not sorry-full

not sorry at all

either more or less.

 

Sometimes -

I find myself laying down

- for hours

not asleep

…eyes closed…

mind barely aware

not racing

just …laying there

drifting

aware

drifting

away…

drifting back

into today

into now…

 

Back…

moving,

sitting up

too fast

slowing

moving

walking… balance off, found

wandering to the kitchen - coffee.

Living room - 'puter,

MS Blue screen…

Awareness growing…

growing.

 

Think it through -

making the damn thing work …again,

system up again.

Wander the world

same world

…over…

over.

 

It's cold, chilly

coffee is cold

old

chilly.

I am…cold, old,

chilled…

and yet I am.

 

I hurt,

then I don't

then I'm not

then I am

and all the while

…aware…

but in a thought-full

- not doing-full -

thought-full

…way

but not in a yesterday's way

nor a tomorrow's way.

 

I know today -

the now

…all the questions

…few of the answers

…then I want - something

then find I don't

'til the next - do.

 

I read a book or more a day

years and years

and screened the world - wide

listened

people…

 

Coffee's cold

old…

 

Nothing's silent.

Silence is the presence of everything you know

…everyone you know.

 

You ever miss a Jehovah's Witness?

 

Continuing.

Continuing…

 

Chris

 

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

I like how you chronicle the mundane routines of aged life in such a readable interesting way, and muse in a style that pulls us to the next line until we reach the end. Kudos!!

Plz pleez do read and comment my newest poem too.

[Pete]

trapped in the monotony of life. too many people busy about nothing. this line struck me - “Nothing's silent.
Silence is the presence of everything you know - very true and telling.

this line also struck me - "You ever miss a Jehovah's Witness?

Continuing.

Continuing…"
we may not miss them but i think on some strange level we're glad they came calling - shows that at least someone cares about something if not just to break up the boredom of a day.

"A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener. So our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts. We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us.” - Thoreau

[X]

Dont let the clouds obstruct the light Chris the sun is always shinning above. Have a wonder full weekend--sending love to Michigan:)

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

You get a sense that repetitive cycle of nothingness and how the times can make you pessimistic- a philosophy in which seeing the absolute truths behind things. Could be benevolent forces or our beliefs just gone sour by growing old. I feel sense of boredom, questioning the very fabric of the world while everything continues...and continues. Loved the line "Nothing's silent.
Silence is the presence of everything you know
…everyone you know.
You ever miss a Jehovah's Witness?
Continuing.
Continuing…" Keep writing sincerely your friend in writing and life

[R.A. Youngblood]

rainy thoughts about rainy existings ha, everything around is absurdly the same, cold and chilly. you let yourself in it, yet you're not depressed, you're way past these periods. I like how you said that silence is the presence of everything you know. Great words!

[mou]

After a long time, I am at a pause to feel my numbed heart again (this page too). I just cannot tell you how to describe it right now... Still, I am doing... In life, I've always seen grey.. Though I expect 'black' (the pattern of fate). A long breath ( or the most needed one) comes here...! I always love your phrases where I tell my sentiment to wait silently as its all answers are coming in the next line. Thank you Chris for sharing this.. At first, I started to keep the track of lines that I thought to bring at this review box, but I forget when I lost the track (I was drowning only)...

[MorganPark]

The coexistence of everything and nothing, inside one being or all...

[Jess]

This is such a relatable and chaotic piece of work. It is a mirror of life and the human condition. The pace we all try to run at all the time. Fantastic read.

[Relic]

You said a lot here I relate to. Maybe too much. Haven't slept a full night in a long time.

[Stephany]

Fragile, strong, moving with direction and then without. Is this a different view of life, or just life from a different view? Hope the recovery is going well. One moment up, then next, not so much.
Be well