I appreciate your writing style. your structure your work with purpose: to create pauses and breathing patterns and sometimes little panicky moments... we actually structurally write similarly. I look forward to reading more of your work.
on a side note, an edit I would make to this, if it's not too bold of me to suggest one:
"Ever cry watching a sitcom
as (if) it's your life... on view"
the *if in parenthesis is what I would recommend putting in. hope that wasn't taken in a bad way. :) great work and I'll see ya on here, friend.
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Listening is what we as poets do best... we often live the "parentheticals" most only imagine. It d.. read moreListening is what we as poets do best... we often live the "parentheticals" most only imagine. It does make it a 'stronger' piece.
Documentation
12/6/17
9:49 AM U.S. CST
My Review of "Coffee And A Sunrise," by Chris, a fellow Writer's Cafe Author
by PB Jacobs (www.writerscafe.org)
Happy AM!
My first thought: "Thinking is writing and writing is thinking." Then, I thought, some people don't have to feel serious to be serious.
Your poem has a "resign to fate" edge to it that I like as it fit's the AM coffee mold, quite nicely.
So you poofed a few line's from your keyboard, so I think as you went with the coffee in front of you? You do strike me as (at least kind of) a "go with what's in front of" kind of Author.
Nifty. Way to poof off at the keyboard! And, way to get all philosophical!
And a "Happy A.M. to you as well," - chuckling here. Thinking IS a way of writing and coffee has th.. read moreAnd a "Happy A.M. to you as well," - chuckling here. Thinking IS a way of writing and coffee has this way of chilling down as the mind is pre-occupied in its pursuit of perceptions.
Sometimes your own view of the perceived gives a perception all its own. And "poof" the scratch of a pen nib across a non-empty page continues. So many keyboard, a few still scrawl. And the sun still rises and Windows overlooks the world and more perceptions await.
Come by anytime... and thanks for your perceptive view.
6 Years Ago
Thanks for the tidings, and invite! I'll friend you, so I remember to stop by and see what you're w.. read moreThanks for the tidings, and invite! I'll friend you, so I remember to stop by and see what you're whipping up, writing-wise!
PB
6 Years Ago
I meant the extension of welcome for you to pause here with me ...anytime you care to.
I awake with a smile - still. But mornings - sunrise - is a time of introspection and thought for m.. read moreI awake with a smile - still. But mornings - sunrise - is a time of introspection and thought for me ...wherever I may be.
7 Years Ago
There is nothing quite so hopeful, as a sunrise...
Omg I remember watching the episode from Game of thrones (the red wedding) and how I got traumatised by all my favourite characters just dying. The first thing that came to my mind was "ok I need coffee to overcome this sadness"
I've also had this addiction to coffee. I would get daily head aches if I didn't have coffee. My skin got all sorts of acne
Terrible times
I also feel here in this poem
The poet seems to be using coffee as an excuse or item to hide and mask away all his insecurities and problems. It's like he needs something even the smallest ray of happiness,like one gets from coffee, to feel normal again. It's like a drug to him.
Wonderfully written poem
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Interesting thoughts Pia...thanks for pausing AND sharing
I think you need a coffee partner and that mornings with coffee makes you feel alive. But if you are not feeling alive and you have touched it for even a brief moment then be thankful God allowed you to feel it once more.
The scatteredness and constant punctuation marks of this poem really sets the tone for this write. I feel like we all experience these feelings of sadness and confusion at some point in our life. Very beautiful, emotional write!
I got the fact that a sip of coffee can cure any thoughts or uneasy emotions. It is a safe place to run to.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
We all need a place and a time to pause, catch a breath - perceive our thoughts and listen to echoes.. read moreWe all need a place and a time to pause, catch a breath - perceive our thoughts and listen to echoes... thanks for coming by.
7 Years Ago
Yes we certainly do! Made me realize I need to pause and think
"Life is a terminal disease." All the doctors have basically told me so.
"Life is an adventure... Pain, well you deal. Thanks for being here. 06/21/2020
I'm back and working on. I've been.. more..