“The sky’s tears moistened the windows with soft flowing smiles” describes a home where sentimental love abides. The gentle touches of feeling loved and secure. I was enchanted by the embrace of your poetry. truly, Pat
WOW... you can tell this is written by an experienced poet.
I must say you remind me slightly of Larkin with your use of form and that silly seriousness that one can never fake in poetry- you either have it or you don't!
Brilliant work, however in each review I try not to just waffle and give at least one suggestion.
Pretty hard as a am clearly a student critiquing the master, however G L I S T E N I N G didn't quite do it for me.
Actually scratch that the more I read it the more I love it!
Perhaps if i was to make a proper suggestion it would be regarding the generous use of ellipses in your first few stanzas. While great, I can't help but feel when we overstate a device in poetry it can lose some meaning.
En Française and ellipse is an 'ommision', it's to be used as something that gives pause yet also suggests a literal missing piece of the text, that something can't quite be said but should if you understand? I personally love ellipses used in this way and I find them much more poignant used sparingly.
Although again I'm a student reviewing the master and this is truly scraping the barrel!
Great writing Chris please carry on!
Chris, in this amazing poem your living words muse, simmer, explode all the conscious and subconscious planes...with thoughts and images in real-time, streaming reverie. Only you can do it this way. You allow us to see, for a precious attainable moment, the brilliant visions behind your eyes. Yes, here at the Cafe, we touch-“our I’s unfocused..joined and held”. Thank you for your poem, your perception and for a glimpse into your poet’s heart.
A lovely piece of writing. You have the capacity to make the reader feel each moment. Not many can do that. Your words are gentle and softly spoken and you carried me with you from start to finish. I like your lil café dreams.
Chris
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
It was nice of you to pause...and to leave such thought...thank you
Chris you always say "Feel free"... and all your writing is exactly about the "FEELING". You are one of the very few writers on WC that can convey such deep feeling in their writing. You express your experience and vision softly, in the moment, taking your time to absorb what you FEEL and then you help the rest of us to understand that approach, that life reaffirmation. Tall task, but you succeed with style and grace. And regarding, my words are inadequate. Thanks.
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Now how the heck can I adequately respond to such ...eloquence? I guess only with thought-full care.. read moreNow how the heck can I adequately respond to such ...eloquence? I guess only with thought-full care.
I KNOW we are but WC acquaintances - BUT (always seems to be a but somewhere in our thought-flow) - soooo, BUT sometimes our back-and-forth "prattle" really fits the way "friends" speak - the kind that don't watch nor live PC or worry over giving offense because we just FEEL our thoughts WILL be taken in ways that don't manifest as offense. I've always FELT you are a "friend" - and I'll always make the time to "see" how you're doin.
6 Years Ago
Thank you Chris and you are a friend to me. It's funny, I've met several people "online" over the la.. read moreThank you Chris and you are a friend to me. It's funny, I've met several people "online" over the last ten years that come across a genuine friends more so than people I've know in the flesh for thirty or more years. The world has changed, nothing new there, but for me, its also how people have changed, turned friend to acquaintance to.. strangers?? I know part of that is because I've changed, given up one lifestyle for another, maybe grown more because of that change where I perceive others to maybe not have grown as much. Ah, perceptions. My personal fear is "communication" and even though I "communicate" through art, music and writing, I still feel I just don't communicate well. So when I find someone that can convey feeling and genuineness like you Chris, I can easily and heartily call you friend.
I was feeling blue from nothing new to do but dust off the rust on the old crappy stuff and look at it squinchy eyed till it seemed different than everything that I'd already tried... no luck, Chuck. Then this fella in a poet hat came over and looked all around before the sat hisself down right in the lap o' my shadow. "Your trouble is" and I'd heard this before, something rude or crude about feckless and callow, but I bucked up and feigned attention, pretty sure this wasn't gonna be worth retention. I was wrong. "Your trouble is", he continued on, "you've outgrown your skin - you no longer belong." Hell of a thing, I thought inside, to say out loud just to bust my pride. But the chap in the hat had his own agenda and stripped down as naked as a third time offender. (He kept on the hat just where it was at, but stepped outta his duds like from a tub fulla suds." )
So far, so eccentric and nothing bizarre, not even a sortie much less a war. Then, s**t got weird. He opened up, not the lecture I'd feared, but a severe transformation he caused to begin of which, at the end, he walked out of his skin. "Try a new hide, check it for size and don't be amazed when you look through the eyes. You've let yourself go, got calloused and cankered, forgone those sweet pleasures you secretly hankered. You aren't hungry for life, but you're certainly peckish. walk for while and find something to relish.
So I walked in his skin and looked through his eyes and tried out a few other parts besides. At the end of the day when we traded back dermis I knew for a fact he'd been honest and earnest about his position and my sorry condition. End of the tale and that's all that was that; he left with a smile and the same tattered hat.
THIS is without tease NOR satire - you HAVE honored me with your presence, pause, forethought and in.. read moreTHIS is without tease NOR satire - you HAVE honored me with your presence, pause, forethought and intent. I've appreciated viewing AND listening to your works and pieces. Blessed Be all of your ...selves for they have been "blessed" to me.
Chris
6 Years Ago
That's some bad hat, Chris.
6 Years Ago
Yes...it is. Has a pin on the bayonet side - just below the silver dragon keeper...Browncoat.
So many dreams and so many wishes- dreams can and do come true if you just keep dreaming- love the words you have used - caribgly twined in mine...and the use of the words eyes, lips etc just delicious I say- brought a smile to my face- wonderful words of knowing🌹
I have always loved the café.. I love the dream.. what value is the drudgery of reality if not to support the dreams.. if my life ends in a place where the sun laughs and the sidewalk.. pauses.. it is a happy dream..
"Life is a terminal disease." All the doctors have basically told me so.
"Life is an adventure... Pain, well you deal. Thanks for being here. 06/21/2020
I'm back and working on. I've been.. more..