"The Cost Of Being..."

always a price isn't there... for every thing...

“The Cost Of Being…”

 

“Sometimes "beside" is no small distance at all... the stars feel closer.”

 

The ties that bind are ever so slim and tender-soft

even though at times I know I was merely a cat’s paw

just being flicked - a switch to gift

a being to be used - abused.

Held-in-passing - remembered when …necessary.

 

There were times …moments… of seeming oh so gentle care,

then of caring and lifetimes lost …lost in the fog-bound echoes

of no longer there…

 

Ties that swirl and entice

draw and tighten and tighten

and keep us bound in velveteen ropes

as all the memories rend and tears fill within.

 

Ties that know

and are always self-aware -

that remember where

all our shadows coalesce

and gather close.

 

Ties like fingers’ tips

that longingly curl

round hearts and throats

and claw us and draw us

down and down

into nighttime’s swales…

 

I'm wandering again -

listening, pausing - reaching

edge-to-edge

breathing in the star's light

exhaling my dreams...

 

I still taste your tears

on my fingertips,

still miss the warmth

of you inside me… calming,

holding tight.

 

I live with dawn's soft chill

as the swirling mysts spiral and rise

expand to invisibility

and leave behind shimmering sighs

and day-dreaming fingertips

...and the softest smile.

 

A telling fantasy - I’ve let

desires prompt, emotions flare...

and now?  The touches ...fade.

 

…and here I am…

breathe… breathe…

I remember how - really I do

…it’s just …just

 

Teardrops get in the way - ya know?

What I mean is

…memories rhyme and raison d'être.

 

…breathe… breathe…

…dream…

 

Sometimes warmth is in the eyes

- the ones that hold yours.

- the ones shimmering as lips curl

in a smile.

- the ones that just draw and draw you into

...dreams.

 

Sometimes ice and snow

are but fingertips softly brushing your cheek

and even winter's basest chill

is but the gentlest autumnal day

as your whole world glistens

with the magyk woven from

...forgotten wishes...

re-imagined just because

you were ...paused.

 

 

when you learn just how “paused” you are…

were...

well - then it’s time for little rhymes

 

“Times that stopped

     beginning again.

Worlds now lost

     as each moment ends.”

 

“Peek-a-boo

     little star

How I wonder

     where you are?”

 

“Puppies and kittens,

crayons and sealing wax,

feathers and dragonflies,

snickerdoodles and ginger snaps…”

 

Then came…

 

“Dandelions and lightning bugs,

thunders and raindrops,

windows and echoes,

whispers and heart stops…”

 

“Now I see you.

     Now I don’t.

I’ll ever hold you… close within.

    ‘Til our stars rise again.”

    

 

It is a time of emotional awareness and personal awakenings...

 

"The Cost Of Living..."

 

You ARE allowed 

to cry, to care, 

SHOUT, stretch,

to hope, dream,

reach... touch... hold, ...love...

and be.  

 

...Allowed to live,

touch, and feel - all that there is

...inside, outside...

near and far.

 

...Allowed to KNOW,

accept, appreciate,

and breathe.

 

...Allowed to be afraid -

of losses,

of findings,

of livings,

...and even the dyings.

 

...Allowed to question

everything and 

...everyone...

about any anything,

 

For you it IS always your today

tomorrow

and even all the yesterdays

...all-in-one-now...

and you ARE

...awake and aware.

 

Be REAL - very, very real,

for the cost of being

is ever all we are.

 

Chris

 

 

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This is, as always, a painful, intricate, real, and soulful journey. Your words fill me and scrape me to the bone in the same instance. There is a longing, an edge, a tragedy, a sadness, and an acceptance to this write, that makes it all the more beautiful.

[MomzillaNC]

Where to begin? All such tremendous lines… so full of meaning and epic imagery. There's no line or set of lines that shouldn't be set down. I would say this is more of a collection of poems and that if the poems were set down as individual poems, each would have so much more impact -- the impact that such masterful lines deserve.

[Frieda P]

Always a pleasure to take in your starlight Chris, always down to earth and otherworldly in the same breath...

[olla]

it really is worth the price...

[Sleiman Azizi]

I think the price is paid, no matter what.