"A Taste Of A Different ...Way."

"A Taste Of A Different ...Way."

 

White, gray-brown, green-edged muck and slick.  Snapped branches, foot-spread mud and earth.  Slapping leather, wheezing gasps ...rising and thinning breaths ...faster - run FASTER...   Distant CRAAACKS... distant... dull sounds, ending - sounds.  Fainter... fainter echoes.

 

Feet slapping, slapping... slapping.  Breath - hard pulled, sharp exhales... eyes - tunneled, wide - blinking, tearing... rapid edging side-to-front head-turned... behind and back.. slapping, slapping!

 

Burns...burning...sooooo dry-dry.. dry - gasping.. harder, harder.  Slapping, slapping!  Faster  -  FASTER!  Oh... Oh... slowing, slllooowwwiiiinng...slowing...

Stop... stopping, stopping... Oh, Oh, oh...   Breathing...catching...

 

Straightening.  Breathing deep.

 

Watching the fire reflect in the sky.  Skeletons of winter trees standing stark and sharp in the flames.  Flickering, dancing, shimmering orange-red-yellow hues.  Distant sounds... muted sounds... echoing inside.  Staring...staring... weightless, just leaning and leaning and leaning to the ground - part of it - on it - in it...eyes viewing the wrinkled edges - forming, being my fingertips grasping and grasping the earth.  Tight, so very, very tightandhardand emptyfull.  God it hurts... hurts

 

...being me...

 

Chris

Author's Note

feel free

Reviews

[Emerald Seas]

I read this earlier and thought for a spell, then I came back and read it again. How deep do I think? It is very descriptive... And also not. Thoughtful to a human condition perhaps, and it also reads to me of a simply difficult time maneuvering through the winter, snow covered surroundings. I actually think it quite brilliant that you have left enough vagueness for your readers to interpret it in a number of ways.
Good writing, my friend.

[AYVID N]

Sometimes it's easier to look outside than to look within because facing that raging inferno inside of us can be harder than fighting anything else...

A very creatively packaged thought about the Self.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You seem to cling to, grieve and suffer along with .. just about every thing that ever lived ..

You are an emotional and physical Empath ..
that after sharing the becoming ..
returns to
a remarkable mortal being
not lessened.. but gifted with more
of what you knew, and were before..

Thanks for sharing the myriad of taste & colors inside your world ... J.

[olla]

yep.. it does hurt.. sometimes.. I am always startled when it is a firey event of some kind.. having danced through the flames a time or two.. I have to go catch my breath now..

[Trigorin]

Not bad, I suppose, but I've personally always hated these sorts of blankly descriptive pieces. There just seems to be no art to it - you could have talked about what the narrator was feeling, what his surroundings were, all sorts of things, but instead you've chosen to restrict yourself to this format. Just food for thought.

[Emily B]

won't you lie in my lap, she whispered

[Holly Mason]

this is truly amazing...
I am breathless...thank you