Chapter 1 - "Can You Hear The Sunshine?"

Chapter i is done

 

So many parts of then

...don't mean as much now

 

and yet it all depends

where we are and when...

"Goin Home..."

dead eye echoes

quiver-shakes

God doesn't wave as i go bye

 

standing sideways

who's laughing

- stupid biatch

 

Ain't no tomorrow

no today

lots a' nothin goin on

 

I feel

I feel

somethin - wait for it ...wait

 

yesterday - right, yeah - I'm laughing - me

at  -for me - stupid silly

me ...me
...goin home

 

right

 

...like ever

 

Chris

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"Bourbon And Ginger..."

 

You
leave wishes behind,
lots and lots
of lil wishes
on falling stars,
and echoes
in fading dreams,
and the hint
of clove
on summer's eve.

 

Chris

 

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"Can You Hear The Sunshine?..."

I don't always understand me

-- just trying to live as I can.

"Can You Hear The Sunshine..."

 

How many tears in never?

Smiles in yesterdays

always taken - away

to where I'm not

- never in.

"Can You Hear Me..."

I can't hear me no more

porch steps at night

concrete dreams

even the cars don't come by...

sounds that scare God away

and tears don't stop nuthin.

 

Why does it all go away?

am i bad somehow

it must be me

has to

- be me

There IS "mean"

- full blown meant

and hurt-full as hell.

I don't know why

but there is.

 

Its like some feel so

BIG

inside

that everyone else don't count at all

I'm here for them to feel better

by making me small

and others so want to be part -

part of what they think they aren't

and yet always were

- outside looking in

- inside looking out

no side at all

I'm just -- small.

 

"Can You Hear The Sunshine?"

 

It's such a lovely sound

as golden tones flow and flow
such magyk in the sounds.
Heaven is above

and angels touch my brow

and never a single tear leaks out..

 

Its just a step away

to where I'll never be...

its never meant for small.

Just ask - they'll tell you.

Chris

 

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"Dream Weaver..."

 

it's the strangest thing
how I see you

 

- lying there

eyes-lidded

body tight, move - back a lil

forward a bit, over. leg moves,

arm - moves, bunch the pillow

move the pillow, turn ...and on and on.

And the breath -- the breath

comes and goes ...some deep

some but light gasps, some catch

and force my head to turn and raise

...sometimes I awaken -- eyes sooooo wide!

 

...and it takes time to return from where you were.

It's the strangest thing

how I see you lying there...
a finger's touch away.

 

You hold my heart

in ways your dreams don't know

or show

and yet -- night-by-night

all I wish is being here

watching - as you find your comfort,

watching - as my thoughts caress

your being,

watching as right there --

you're a finger's touch away

 

...from beside me.

Chris

 

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Author's Note

Feel free

Reviews

[Ruth]

I believe your work is almost a lullaby...soothes and calms and yet drives the senses wild with fragrance and depth!

"How many tears in never?
Smiles in yesterdays
always taken - away
to where I'm not
- never in."........................just wonderful! xox

[Lyn Anderson]

Wow. Your style is unique, bold, and very sexy. Your poems speak clearly, honestly, and soulfully. A pleasure to read.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

The poem could be about a soldier that is walking away from dead bodies in the battle field and he carries all the weight in his conscience because he does not see a sign from above that will make him feel lighter.

[Will Neill]

Chris, There I was thinking I was going to read another three chapters of a book, and then I found this.
A new angle on a mans thoughts, I have enjoyed the journey with you so far.
Nice work.
Will

[Chris]

Most of the individual posted poems aren't in the book(lets) here... just so ya know. Thanks for the pause and thoughts Will. They and you - are appreciated.

[Sue Hart]

Thank you! All of this touched my soul because of finding the truth here. I relate, understand, and sigh with the connection. Yes, Thank you.

[Chris]

H'lo Sue. I do hope you return and pause with more of my thoughts. Chris

[Lucifer Jones]

What can I say that wont diminish the work? I'ts beautiful and a splendid song of life. Serenity. Calming the soul and igniting the mind... Amazing my friend.

[Laminators Dubai]

this is full of freedom...wonderful poem chris^^

[Einstein Noodle]

"Can You Hear The Sunshine?"

seems a personal journey that frustrates ... like beating my head against the wall for want of a door ... reminds me of feeling tense and conflicted in my youth when such "searches" were so important to me and me so unprepared for anything more than self inflicted pain :} ... life does allow us to sort things out with time and grace .. I am glad you placed "Dream Weaver..." at the end ... such simple peace, comfort and truth ... enjoyed reading this very much!
E.

[Epipsychologist]

This is poetry. You have the ability to read between the lines of memory. That's what I get out of this, anyway. If that sounds like a senseless response, let me clarify what I mean.

Many of the lines and stanzas are fragmented, and speak to the nature of memory. They seam like spots of time that almost render full scenes of life, but they are disjointed enough to suggest that one scene does not flow evenly to the next, it is just a cluster of images and experiences and something that seams to mean something. The whole is greater than the sum. As a poet, you seam to be able to express the connections between otherwise disconnected experiences and memories, enabling us to fill in the gaps, to make meaning out of the lacunas of memory.

I look forward to reading the rest.

[Chris]

Responses aren't sense-less, they are perception-full. Each has their thoughts ...touched and thereafter affected, shaded, moved in ways that then touch other thoughts, people... and on-and-on. Sometimes we understand our selves... and sometimes we reach out and hold a hand.

[Belle]

I am sorry to interrupt, but I've partially read your words from the live feed, and I cannot contain myself from not clicking the more button. Chris, you said it so well! Two thumbs up with that words...

[icelandicblue]

I liked the progression of these poems. Home can be a most elusive place even if you happen to be there. Wishes on stars after bourbon and ginger don't often come true, no matter how hard we wish. But the jewel of the piece is Can You Hear the Sunshine where mean is meant and you feel small because of it all being left behind to carry; a human repository for everyone else's angst and disappointment. I could most relate to the synesthesia of this one in my bones. The last piece Dream Weaver was simply beautiful. There was comfort in that poem and it was a perfect one with which to end the journey.

[Tam Warink]

Some mornings I get up, look at a reflection of myself, and think of what the world would be like without all of these whiskers. Your poetry is a lot like that for me, Chris. Depending on the reflection, the studied surface, sometimes there are distortions or waves or wrinkles. Time adds little to it but longer whiskers and a certain camouflage of belonging. I am the poor dear, crossing my own well-made paths through the forest of mind. I see you have made some trails too; as this piece alludes.

[Chris]

You walked into a hall of mirrors
and windows
with reflections - all
of and for each of us …alike
who-so-ever-may pause
caught in their web of thought

[Chris]

and oh yes, H'lo Tam

[Tam Warink]

...and a fine, good-morning to you too, Chris. There's a warm, crinkly smile on my face (if you look carefully)! :)

[Chris]

nothing carefully about it... its what we do. Coffee is life's blood - chilled to a soul's temp and swirled with the grounds of existence.

[Tam Warink]

heh.. a poet, waxing poetic, know there's something you don't see very often! {snort} :)

[Chris]

It's Monday... THAT says it all...

[Tam Warink]

Ayup. Days of the week... shoreline demarcations between cups of coffee and this sea of words.

[Chris]

sometimes formal day callings are less arbitrary markings of passage... THAT takes its own thoughts.