Mentally Alone

A Poem by Anaya

just read this

Your right,
I'm not physically alone,
I'm in a room full of people.
But when referring to these people,
My problems are unknown.
Because all I can muster,
Is the smile that is shown.
I rather drown,
Than let you see my emotions,
Get the best of me.
When people talk about loving me,
I know it's because they,
Never met the rest of me.
If you met these sides,
Your so called love would diminish,
That's not a thought, but a guarantee.
You never met the broken girl,
With flaws filling the walls,
You never met the version of me,
That simply chooses to withdraw.
You never met my anger,
Never experienced a flash of my rage.
I choose what you see,
I choose what you experience on my stage.

I'm the author, You're the reader,

I write what appears on your page.

No matter how many times,
You ask me if i'm okay,
I will always lie because I simply don't know,
How to open up to people about my life-long substantial pain.
I rather act happy,
Then let you see me sulk all about.
I rather laugh a fake laugh,
Then let you see how my insides tend,
To scream and shout.
I rarely speak of my worries,
And when I so, I am extremely intone.
So yes you are right,
Physically I am not alone.
But tell me do you know how it feels,
To feel like you don't even belong in your own home.
I don't think you understand the pain,
From mentally living your whole life on your own.