I Love You

i really love him.

I longed to touch you, but feared you were never really there.

Feared that we were nothing more than a mentally made affair.

Even if you were fake, my heartbreak was not spared.

In this problematic world,  your love allowed me to live w/ very little care.

Indeed I have my mental battles, but your love was always there.

I shared my secrets with you that I promised I would not share.

Because your love, real or fake, never seemed to disappear.

You always made me feel sane.

With you I felt little pain.

But now you’re gone and I hate it.

The sunny days are now all faded.

I miss you badly and it hurts to say it.

You miss me too, it’s not hard to tell in the way you act.

We didn’t talk for a year, but when I hit you, you hit me right back.

Still i’m unsure if we could ever be together.

Truth be told right now I need you more than ever.

But these words I will not say,

I will persist to mask the pain.

Because I know if I asked you to stay, you’d say okay.

But the havoc my life brings is unpredictable, and I don’t want you getting hurt. 

So this time I will protect you, this time i’ll put you first.

Author's Note

what do you think?