I wish you could see

A poem you'll never read

I want to live only slightly more than I want to die this might come as a surprise,

Simply because I have no way of showing you what I keep inside.

I wish I could give you my eyes.

So you could see how I view my life.

Because right now you are more than blind,

You are mentally denied.

 access to the pain running thru my veins,

That is slowly contaminating my brain,

Which is deeming me to gradually crossover the line of okay and mentally insane

But who is to blame.

You have no say.

So should I blame myself for smiling and acting ok when you tried vigorously to unmask my seeping pain.

I want to die slightly more than I want to live, 

But you think i'm just a kid.

Therefore you give me all the reasons for all the s**t I did.

You never use your ears to listen,

If you did you hear about,

The boulders my self-conscious puts on my shoulders. 

Pinning my body down on the ground that is causing my mentally and physically to drown.

Now I am drowning on the ground by these boulders holding me down.

But you hear no sound,

The sound of my battle cry,

The sound of my body slowly caving in to the pain inside.

You hear nothing but giggles and foolish play.

Because you see me as a kid.

Which blinds you from seeing any of my true dismay.

Author's Note

what do you think?