Virus

If you have been reviewed by me, do not bother reviewing my work, your perspective is tainted, positive or otherwise, etc.

Like a cheap prosthetic virus

Forcing down you filthy w****s

Killing off the young and weak

Before they start their hollow wars

 

They never will escape it

Even now does it descend

To break your will and steal your heart:

Becoming dead before the end

 

Quick as dark lightning

And always it prevails

Great in mass, stained in part

Fueled by anger, fear and doubt

 

The mystics are departing

Disease has warned them off

Blind and bent on evil’s face

Dwell on now

And fall from grace

 

The blood is in mortal hands

Can't escape it, wouldn't care

Evil laughter shakes your heart

Its more than any man could bear

 

Divided by the conquest

One hope can now prevail

Tame the beast, rout its heart

Become the master of the dark

 

Dawn brings hope arising

The darkness now recedes

Day is sprung

Hour is young

Time of plenty

Loss has won

 

Author's Note

Write as you see fit.

Reviews

[Through the Gateway]

A nice dark and yet hopeful piece. I think you have massive potential.

[DerTodBesuchen]

This is one of the few poems I have read by a stranger and actually admitted I liked it. Don't expect praise, it needs work, just as mine, but it is a nice piece. I look forward to seeing more of your writings.

[wolfshrew]

i liked this, it felt strong and full of various feeling.

look forward to seeing more

[J. P. Wickwire]

I like how this is a sort of 'old style' poem. Have you considered breaking it up into different stanzas? That might make it even more powerful. Of course, maybe you already have, and the computer just isn't displaying it that way...

Anyway, I like your rhyme scheme, and the dark language. I would read more of your poetry :D

Keep writing!
-J. P.

[Legion]

I find this darkly perfect. I do have some questions about that last line though. Maybe I'm just not reading it right, but I'm not sure if I understand how it fits into the poem. Does it have a pause between "plenty" and "loss"? If so, then I think I get it, but if not, please explain.

[Last Lying Look]

I love this.
There is a strong, almost disgusted vibe to this which I admire.
"Like a cheap prosthetic virus
Raining down you filthy w****s
Killing off the young and weak"
I really liked that part.
Excellent write.
-Elissa :)

[S. Janszen]

The colon seems out of place. I was actually going to suggest doubt instead of clout.