The pace of my life

I will spill on you my words

Caressing your senses

As each word

F

          L

                   O

                            W

                                      S  out of my mouth

In delbmarcs pieces

 

I will tell you my dreams

Letting you enter and

A                s                 m                l                 

          s                 e                 b                 e

One by one

All the brkn pieces

 

I will share with you my thoughts

Lustful, sinful and scaring

Each one will

enLIGHTen

your clouded mind

 

I will spoil you

S l o w l y making you understand

In every possible way

The PAce of my life

 

Reviews

[///mr York\\\]

Nice use of negative space on the page. I would suggest using it a little less. Some areas it becomes distracting and takes away fromt he overall feel of the piece. I tend to concentrate more on the convention of manipulating the words rather than the words themselves. Good work!

[[untitled]]

This is great Anata ,Yu said you wanted to try experiment with the layout ,and I can't help but think you did that wonderfully..Not only is it a nice read in itself ,yur layout made it a joy to read ,something cery different i thought..Very original ,I can only envy...

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

I thoroughly enjoyed this semi-concrete poem. I like the tone you take, announcing your every intent and guiding the reader through the process of connecting with your message. The
F
L
O
W
(S) is smooth and is like a stairway to another level,
and the opportunity to
A s m l
s e b e draws the reader into an active role in the poem.

I guess we can deduce that the pace of your life is somewhat erratic!
BTW, I tried googling delmarc or delbarcs pieces and only got articles in languages I did not understand at all - no romance languages! Can you educate me?