Ineffectual women REVISED

Second version of ineffectual women, thought it might needed some brushing up

Excitement
The infinite attempt yet again today
But it feels as if a raven
Came and took your jewels away

Your mind says yes
But your body defines no
The spider paralyzed his victim
Only to suck it empty and dry no more

 

Move your body
Twirl it gently, give it a go
Maybe the pebble will fall
Make the river ripple and flow

 

Stalking your own mind
A prey so intoxicating to taste
Like rose branches bodies intertwined
Yet the favour has gone to waste

 

No seducing snake hands an apple to bite
Desperation stained the sheets
Venturing ship sunk disastrously tonight
They played the tricks, not the treats

 

When no gifts are left to provide
Even the most optimistic person flutters
And no soul can tell what happens inside
When the attendant closed the shutters

Reviews

[James K. Blaylock]

This piece is truly wondrous and it touches upon the depths inside so many. Great job!

jkb

[Michael X]

The reader can really feel the sincere thought and focus placed behind the imagery with a great messege
Marvelous Job.

[Jinx's Heart]

Very moving. I'm speechless.