Ambrosia Paper Crane

Winner of the paper crane contest

The cold needle in my arm

Warming my existence

Keeping me locked away

Reality takes a spin

I venture the skies

I float between heaven and hell

Like a superhero

Searching for another rush

 

It wasn’t until I saw you

I realised that ambrosia

Has more than one form

Though I couldn’t inject you in my veins

Your eyes took me on a trip

Coiled up in your love

Like a superhero

I protected you from evil

 

Searching my way round

Hiding from reality

A single paper crane in my pocket

Reminding me of the day

Ambrosia in your eyes

Dancing together

Under the flashing lights

Coiled up in your love

Like a superhero

I crawled back in your arms

 

No longer was I a stranger

As I washed away my sins

Your eyes locked me up

As your love

Warmed my blood

I took you with me

Out of the window we flew

But reality hit you

Like a superhero

I washed my hands in your blood

 

The paper crane soaked

The red luscious nectar

My world fell apart

As your ambrosia coloured the pavement

A cold feeling, staring into the barrel

My head takes a spin

As our blood coils together

Like a superhero

Lying next to you

Paper cranes never fly away

 

Reviews

[Wesley Dingler]

This was an amazingly overwhelming write, Anata.
Please write again soon.

[Sean Allen]

WOW... what more could be said about this powerful masterpiece.
Why would you ever have stopped writing?

[Sorrow The Dark]

This poem is really well written and it flows together and the metaphors are great and it kept my attention, very nice work, well done

[SassySays]

What a piece....strong metaphors here....gripped me from the beginning...and carried me to the end....still looking for the next line....

[Ms. MoneyPenny]

I really really enjoyed that piece. I could relate to the parallel that you introduced. I think you are a great poetry writer. I have some that I haven't posted yet so I hope you will return to let me know what you think. Keep up the good work!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I like the likening of ambrosia with a person you feel for .
I like the verse about flying out of the window ,, the entire poem is very good ,Anata,
A little on the dark side.
Loved it and feel so sad .. good job with your expression of feelings.

Chloe
xoxo

[RAWR!]

very well written.
impressive wordplay,
great images,
lyrical quality,
i love the dramatic way you start the poem.

"The cold needle in my arm"

again very very well written.

[TL Boehm]

incredible poetry here, sweeping and sad....awesome word play 'hero/heroine....' the metaphoric bloodshed....a deep poem Well written.

[J. Alfred Potter]

This is full of win. So much so that It's by far the best submission for this contest. Congratulations!! You're a winner. I will be sending you an email with more details about the project and so on.

This piece captures everything I tried to put into my work in into the script for the comic. You've created some wonderfully vibrant and beautiful visuals and this is something that the art team I am putting together will be more than happy to work with.

You truly have a gift.

[Chillbear Latrigue]

Normally I would be opposed to a poem that intermingles heroin and romance, but I think you made a very valid point that it takes hope to get people to try to stop using. Poetically, it was beautiful. Right up to the last line.