Mystic Metaphor

Today we have nothing to speak out;

What prevails  is the self-doubt ;

A sudden victory  fails to trigger rejoice,

The treasure  that is lost is the voice .

 

Yet all the conflicts choose to live on ,

Sheltered by the “head and heart” siphon;

Remains as it is, the goal to strive for,

Life goes on like a mystic metaphor .

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

The elusive essence of life is much like a mystic metaphor! We do not act as we are held back by fear, self-doubt, and the voice to speak up for that which we believe in!
The conflicts do not end as we choose not to end them - mind over matter, heart over reality, which shall it be? It is a puzzle to far too many!

[Anand Sehgal]

We are afraid of living and we are afraid of death too. !!

[prachi prangya agasti]

simple and awesome.. nice rhyme too... liked it!!

[Anand Sehgal]

thank you Prachi :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Enjoyed the rhyme, but agree with what was said about the comma's...they have a tendency to clutter a verse, and this would read just as smoothly without them...just my opinion.

My best,
Kelly

[Anand Sehgal]

thank you Kelly for your kind feedback :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Simplicity in sentiment, with wonderful word choice. I really like the title of this one! I might suggest eliminating the commas within the lines of the first stanza - they stalled my reading a bit and are not necessary. Overall, I enjoyed this piece, Anand!

[Anand Sehgal]

Will keep in mind ma'am. thanks a lot :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Indeed, life goes on and there is no rewind button for us to stop the progress. Your poem is short and to the point. Well written. Lydi**

[Anand Sehgal]

Thanks a lot :) Glad that you felt connected :)

[NA]

Excellent read...flowed wonderfully...enjoyed :) x

[Anand Sehgal]

thanks a lot friend , for kind comments :)

[Angel Bella]

This is really well written. Made me think what life is even before it has began. Thanks for the reading request always my pleasure to read.

[Anand Sehgal]

Thanks a ton , kind review indeed from you :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Life does go on...and a mystic metaphor indeed. I quite enjoyed the feel of this one; it was not overdone or overworked, rather you allowed the emotions to speak for themselves.

The treasure, that is lost, is the voice. -- really enjoyed this line!

[Anand Sehgal]

Thanks Sarah.. you're right ; I kept the whole image simplistic intentionally :)

[Rhiti Bose]

A poem which is not in free verse runs the risk of sounding childish, if the rhyming is not correct. But when i read your poem, it is beautifully done. This is how a rhyme scheme should be done in couplets aa bb cc dd. Great work sehgal.

[Anand Sehgal]

Glad that you liked the piece Ma'am :)