Etcetera 2

Eternal hourglass,

    Tranquil sand,

          Peaceful era !!

              The radiant sun ,

                     Greenhouse effect,

                             Adolescent pain !!

                                       Unrest within,

                                            Miserable haemorrhage;

                                                       Inevitable explosion !!

                                                                       Savage warfare,

                                                                                 Profuse blood loss,

                                                                                          Acute anemia !!

Reviews

[Sarai Lee]

Firstly, I'd like to say bravo! The way you wrote this, cutting across the page at an angle, to mirror your violent imagery cutting into the reader. I like that, and I am really enamoured with the structure here. I like the lines, each a brutal hit to something harsh and deep. Again, well done!

[Anand Sehgal]

I am honored, thank you :)

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

I love your structure and the flow as I read this. Deterioration and desperate measures are needed.
Your purpose is clear, and precise.

[Anand Sehgal]

Thanks a ton Josie for the kind review. Happy holidays :) :)

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

To you, too. Have a great new year!

[Scott Metro]

It do get dark sometimes....always a struggle...pitfalls of life.

Enjoyed it.

Scott

[Anand Sehgal]

Yes, struggle is the thing that helps in manifestation of strength :)

[icelandicblue]

It all runs down hill to one frothy mess it seems. We begin as infinite only to realize we're merely infinitesimal. I like the structure a lot.

[Anand Sehgal]

thank you so much my friend :)

[Justsimplyjulia]

metaphors. Boy are you good at them. Great write!
-Dragon

[Anand Sehgal]

thanks a lot dear for spending time on the write :)

[Justsimplyjulia]

'Twas my pleasure

[Anand Sehgal]

:) :) I'm honored

[Frieda P]

Moving on from 'oceans of illusions' was it? I'm rather liking where you're taking this 'Etcete', you made a mess on this page with this one, aptly so, powerful imagery Anand!

[Anand Sehgal]

life itself is a disconnected mess. isn't it? :)

[Frieda P]

I concur ;-) But your poetry isn't so that's why we continue to write....x

[Dye]

I'm not typically a fan of to many metaphors, just because it can be too cryptic for me. But I do like this one and how it develops from infancy and moves through the various stages.

[Anand Sehgal]

Thank you dear :D

[prachi prangya agasti]

like the structure and nicely done.... enjoyed reading this

[Anand Sehgal]

thank you Prachi, glad that you liked

[Angel]

The second installment in the "Etcetera" series... A timely comment on the deterioration of our society...our world. I like the way you use metaphor...fantastic. Well penned!

[Anand Sehgal]

Thanks a lot , I am glad that you felt connected with this write :)

[MsJewel]

I like this unique form. It works well - and your use of metaphors is outstanding. :) Julie

[Anand Sehgal]

Thanks a lot Julie for your kind review :)