Shutter Bug

A story that has an edgy, more of a thriller end,

Picking up her Canon EOS 7D Mark II and securing it's harness tightly around her shoulder was the best feeling in the world. Occasionally on the weekends, Zoya would wake up at sunrise, jump in her car and drive of to near by valleys with her younger brother Ali, to explore and capture the scenically beautiful they went to. However that Sunday morning, Ali was far too tired and would moan everything time Zoya tried to wake him up. In the end, she let him dream peacefully and left without him. She grabbed her camera, bag, keys, put her wellies on and off she went.

The night before, she decided that she drive to the Naltar valley, which was know for it's colourful lakes. Throughout the journey, she thought about the first camera she ever had. She was sitting in her living room that Tuesday afternoon, when the doorbell rang. Her father answered it and to no surprise, it was the mail man. He would always dropped off letters for her father at the three o'clock every afternoon. But that afternoon, when she saw the mail man hand over a rather peculiar looking parcel to her father, she got excited. Her father hardly ever received parcels. They both opened the parcel to find a Panasonic Lumix LX100, sent by her uncle. Throughout the years, she was the only one to use the camera. She would always try and capture important occasions like Ali's first day at primary school or when her father got promoted to Vice President at the company he worked at or when her and her family took a trip to Dubai when she was 15. Over the years she had taken some exquisite pictures and had captured almost all the important events her family went heartedly treasured.

A three hour journey of nostalgic flashbacks and she had finally reached the Naltar Valley. It was one of the most beautiful places she had ever been too. The valleys was full of beautiful views of cold lakes, slopes covered with prettiest flowers she had ever seen and gardens full of fruit-laden branches. Instantly, she fell in love with the place and without a minute to spare, she took her camera out. A few meters ahead, lay a small wooden cabin just on top of one the taller hills. She desperately wanted to take a picture of the cabin but lake stood in her way, blocking her path. She took out her tripod stand and placed her camera on it. She then slowly zoomed into to get a much clearer image of the cabin. To her surprise, she saw a group of men standing in the cabin. The men had formed a circle and were inclosing a rather big object which she could barely see. Suddenly, one of the men stepped away from the object and to her horror she found a women who had been tied up to a chair. The women looked beaten up and her head hung loosley.

She immediately flinched back from her viewfinder, grabbed her tripod, all her belongings and in a panic ran. She to her car and drove off without looking back. She was desperate to find a stop or a police station before she was too late. However, she knew she didn't have much time and a long way to go before she found anyone.

Author's Note

This is my first post, so please feel free to comment any suggestions, what you thought about it and how I could improve on the story and writing in general.

Reviews

[Lauren Pauly]

I really enjoy the start of this story. With such an open-ended beginning, you could really take it a lot of different ways. You could make it a murder story, a mystery, supernatural, and so much more. Where are you looking to take it, or are you even looking to add any more? I would be happy to help you brainstorm ideas if you would like. As for things to add to the story as is, I would maybe add a few more details about the character. Where is she from? What are her hobbies, her past? How long has she enjoyed photography? What does she look like, what is her personality like? I know this is kind of a lot to add right now, and if you have any questions I would be more than happy to answer them. Like I said, I really enjoy the start of this piece!
-Lauren Pauly

[Anam]

Thank you so much for commenting! I never expected anyone to on my first post. As for the story, yes I do plan to go back and rewrite it or add a few things. I know I have to work on my ending and I will surely try to update the send version as soon as possible. Also, I am going to add the stuff about her past, her hobbies and maybe make the ending more mysterious.
Anyway, thank you so much Lauren, I honestly appreciate what you wrote and found it very constructive.
-Anam

[Lauren Pauly]

My pleasure! I hope it helped. Let me know if you need anything else, whether it be on this story or another one. Great job!

[Anam]

Aww that's very sweet of you to offer, thank you so much!

[Lauren Pauly]

No problem! I look forward to reading some more amazing peices from you. Great job, Lauren