You

Where your footsteps tread

poison spews from your mouth

 

your soul is black and dead

evil thoughts swirling in your head

 

those who you touch are dragged into hell

thier voices muted so they can not yell

 

thier insides rot as thier bodies drop

becoming useless and frail

 

emptiness flows from your heart like a river

drowning all life , minds locked up in a jail

 

Your eyes are empty, no life exists

death becomes the only bliss.

Author's Note

just something that popped into my head

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

Very powerful piece, especially for one that written off the cuff^^

[Riley Mistwood]

Thanks

[Jack Reaper]

oh such darkness... its quite beautiful, i love the similies and word choice in this one. you may have just inspired my return to the dark side my dear. keep it up, take care and be well.

[Riley Mistwood]

Thank you. If you do decide to join me, Il be here waiting lol

[Sami Khalil]

I like this poem too...

[David Scott]

OK Riley. This poem was a truth and it was to the point. I think you made one of my slips on "thier voices..." Should read their. Also, I would look at "minds locked up in jail". I think it may sound better as singular, mind.
A worthwhile read dear Riley. So dark so young...? Ha.
Be well.

[Riley Mistwood]

Thank you so much. Well not as young as one may think. Looks can be deceiving. But yes, life has given me many dark moments

[Sir Jaykom]

I sense the darkness. I think "their" in the 3rd stanza should be "their".. better yet make it a "you" or "your" since the whole piece is you this, you that.

I suggest you define the title more, maybe a little more specific on what kind of "you" you're writing about.

Beside that, I think it's a good read! Especially for how sporadic you said it was. Keep it up.

[Riley Mistwood]

thanks for the review and suggestions!

[}Echo{]

This is... Wow... I love it. I love the dark, suspenceful theme. This is great. I love this. Great work. :)

[Riley Mistwood]

Thank you so so much