I wish you not

Inspired by Phillip Larkin's 'Born Yesterday'

I wish you not the common things

A gift of beauty or playful talents

Instead I kiss upon your head

A blessing of love

True and honest

This in time you will see

Is richer than beauty or expertise

Although the rich are clothed and able

I rest you in happiness

Genuine and simple

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

strong beginning .. packs a whole story behind it ..
"A gift of beauty of playful talents" .. feels weak how about and playful talents; ..
your story turns for me to a parent blessing a child .. very emotive!
.. expertises (sp?) ...

for some reason i want simple to rhyme with able .. maybe genuine and stable .. or something like that

your poem engaged me at the start .. read it several times .. out loud twice .. really appreciate the brevity, deep underlying wisdom and warm feelings it brings me .. nice job for sure!
E.

[Amy J]

Thank you! Sorry, I'm an awful speller, I'll correct it now!
Thank you so much for your feedback!

[Amy J]

I do appreciate your rhyme of 'stable' and understand the flow of the words, I just feel the word 'simple' sums up the whole point of the poem, although I agree it doesn't rhyme too well, perhaps I could re-word it slightly?

[Einstein Noodle]

just impressions .. i am not a rhymer for the most part .. rhyme and syntax and meaning from the writer are at odds a lot it seems .. just pointing out my first impressions .. not saying one should agree .. except the editing ;)

[Amy J]

I agree! Thank you, I really appreciate your feedback, it helps me to put my work in perspective and useful to know about the spelling mistakes haha! Thanks again E, please keep saying hello, love reading your comments :)

[Einstein Noodle]

absolutely .. love reading!! God bless!
E.